La vie en Rose
by barrani
Summary: non linear story involving my favorite couple Hotch and Emily. Follow Aaron and Emily through time and their relationship as they try to find their way through heartbreak and tragedy back to happiness. Very good story. Can't give much in summary will ruin
1. One for my baby and one for the road

A/N ok so this is a nonlinear story. And I'm not going to be using flashbacks to tell you in what time period we are. But I will leave details letting you know where we are so you'll be able to follow. It will be confusing for a little while, but other than the stuff that is intentionally confusing. I will do my best to let you know what's going on. If you have nay questions let me know, and if I can answer I will. The first couple of chapters let you know the major time periods. It will be like the Audrey Hepburn movie "Two for the Road". There will be no cases in this story although the team will figure into some of it. It is also completely AU. And let the story begin.

The whiskey burned a trail of fire down his throat. He welcomed the burn. The burn was going to make him forget. He was going to forget it all. Even if it was only for a moment. He was going to forget it all. The hangover he knew he was going to have tomorrow didn't daunt him. He would pay any price. As long as he forgot.

Her words. That's what he wanted to forget. Her words. They reached into his chest and pulled his beating heart out and eviscerated it in front of him.

Those words had destroyed his world. They had destroyed his chance at perfect happiness. His chance at happily ever after.

The memories. He also wanted to forget those. The stolen moments. The passionate kisses. The sweet kisses. The kisses that set him on fire. The nights they had together. Passionate. Tender. Explosive. Hot. Loving. The mornings. Kisses that were taken in a panic afraid they would be caught. The rush of walking into work knowing that at any given moment their secret might be discovered. That it could all be over. Everything he had worked for. But she was worth it. The moments of domesticity. The belief that fate was looking out for them. The moment fate betrayed them.

The love. He desperately wanted to forget that. The love that had burned bright from the second they saw each other. Had burned deeper and deeper until it consumed everything about them until all that existed was love for each other.

Ironically he forgot how he could have let her get away. There had been a reason. There had to have been. He wasn't an idiot. He would have had to have had a reason to let this girl get away. Surely he would have moved heaven and earth to keep her. He knew he had tried it this time. But surely he tried it then too.

The perfect girl. He wanted to forget her. To forget that once he had had the perfect girl. The girl of his dreams. No girl could compare. Even the woman next to him couldn't compare. He would put his perfect girl in a room with any woman in history, Helen, Cleopatra any of them, HIS girl would win hands down.

And so he sat in a dark room and drank. The fire burned away it all away for a moment. But it always came back. And so he drank again. He repeated the desperate process over and over again.

Early in the morning just before the sun rose; he unsteadily walked out of his room and into the great outdoors. The world was slowly lighting up. The scent of pine trees assaulted his senses. He had always liked the forest. He loved the trees. Green was his favorite color. But today he hated it. He knew he would never be able to look at a forest again without thinking of last night. Of everything he had lost.

He sat down and poured another drink. The sun was just about to peak over the hills. It was about to wash the world in a sea of color. He was going to drink.

Not to forget this time. No this time he was going to greet the dawn. Yesterday was past. It was dead and now from its ashes a new day would arise. He was going to drink to that day. He was going to leave her in the past and start a new life. Not a better life no, no life could ever be better. But a new life that he could do.

The bright sun peeked out over the hills. And he raised his glass. "To the next day, may we all find peace and happiness." And he downed the glass. He stood and walked forlornly back to his bed. He was going to sleep. When he awoke he would start his new life. Without her.

He climbed into the bed. He was careful not to disturb the woman next to him. He closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep.

But in the final moments before sleep took him he heard her words once again.

Aaron Hotchner heard Emily Prentiss' words once again.

She was standing in front of another man. She was a wearing a beautiful white dress. And she said to him.

"I do."

A/N Let me know what you think. Also I will be updating most of my other stories over the next couple of days. Review and happy trails might be yours.


	2. The fates meddle

A/N So I updated this all I changed was to add two lines to the seventh paragragh. So if you've already read this chapter that's all you need to read. As ever I own nothing.

What was she doing here? He couldn't believe his eyes. SHE was standing in front of him. He pinched himself. He hoped it was a nightmare.

It wasn't. "What are you doing here?" His words were harsh. He wished he could tone them down, but he couldn't.

"Nice to see you too." She was polite. Growing up an ambassador's daughter had taught her to be polite and keep her true feelings buried.

"Emily." His tone was dangerous it said don't mess with me.

"It's Agent Prentiss. I'm here to join the BAU." _You know I'm an agent Aaron. You don't have to play this game._

"There must be a mistake."

"There's no mistake." She reached into the box she was carrying and pulled out a piece of paper. She handed it to him. It was all of the necessary paperwork. It looked in order. The rings on her finger mocked him. They reminded him of his failures.

_No, please God no. Anything but this. This couldn't be happening. Surely the gods didn't hate me that much. Not after everything that happened. Not after the last time he had seen her. Not after that night._

"You want to transfer to the BAU?" _There had to be a way out of this._

"Yes. Look we can be professional about this. You're now my boss. That's all we have to be. You're my boss and I am your subordinate."

She wasn't going to think about the past. About what they had meant to each other. About that night. About either night. She was here to do a job. Her dream job. The rest of it, well, they didn't call her "the queen of compartmentalization" for nothing.

"And that's it. You just shove all of it everything that happened, what we meant to each other, all of it into one the little boxes in your mind. And you just call it a day. You can do that?" He spat out. He couldn't do that. Not after everything. He was still human. He had a heart. _I wonder if she truly does? Or was it trained out of her?_

"Yes. I can do that."

"I am going to look into this. I didn't approve your transfer. I'll get back to you."

"Are you punishing me?" _I can't believe he would be so petty. Not after everything. Not after what he did._

"No. This is professional. We are going to play by your rules. We don't know each other. This is the first time we met. I didn't approve your transfer. This is the BAU. We are a specialty. We don't just let anyone come in."

A knock on the door stopped Emily from responding. JJ popped her head in. "Hotch we got a case."

"Ok briefing room in five. Agent Prentiss I'll see you when I get back."

And with that he walked out of the office leaving a fuming Emily Prentiss behind. _How dare he? How does he think he is? Maybe this is a bad idea? No. I will not let him take away my dream job. He's just going to have to suck it up._

She knew he came back tonight. A little coffee and a muffin can work wonders. She waited in his office. She looked around. She noticed some files someone had recently dropped off.

She read the one on the top. She started profiling. After a few minutes she heard someone coming up the stairs. He walked into the office.

Hotch began the climb up the stairs that led to his office. _I am going to calm down before I met with her. She doesn't deserve my anger. That was wrong. I shouldn't have reacted like that. But can I react differently? Who else can I be? I can't love her. I can't forget it happened. What can I be but angry? It's the only to protect my heart._ He opened his office door. He noticed he wasn't alone.

"Please tell me you haven't been there for the last four days." _What is she doing here? _

"I heard you were flying back tonight."

"Heard, how... how could you have heard a thing like that?"

"This was dropped off today." She ignored his question. She didn't want him to know the lengths she had gone to find out when he was getting back.

"I appreciate your interest agent, but profiling is a specialty, we can't just let anyone who wants to give it a whirl." _Go away. Please. Go away._

"The I-80 killer... co-ed's in Indiana."

"Yes I read it on the plane."

"They aren't blitz attacks, this guy's organised. He's a white male, early thirties, and a smooth talker, because even after eleven victims, he can still convince educated women who know there's a predator out there to get into his car."

"How would you advise the police?"

"I would stake out the ranch house, a night club in Gary, they have a very popular ladies night on Thursday's. If you look closely you'll see that eight out of the eleven victims went missing on a Friday morning, so something gets this creep's motor running on Thursday's."

He stared at her.

"This isn't a 'whirl' Agent Hotchner I belong in this unit, and all I'm asking you for is the chance to show you that."

_Can I do this? _

"We brief new cases every morning at ten am; you can see facilities management about a desk."

"You won't be sorry."

_I'm already sorry._

_A/N please review especially if you're confused. This is an experiment in reverse dramatic irony. I also know most of what's going to happen so occasionally I might ofrget a small detail. People's comments let me know where everyone's at._


	3. The fates introduce

A/N All right so let's see if we can't clear up some more confusion. This story is taking place in about four time periods with some interludes that will tie in. You're not going to see them all right now. But it will all make sense the second to last chapter, but until then you're going to have questions. It's a guarantee. The story is kind of like a puzzle, I'm going to give you new pieces every chapter. Some will fit into what you've already read and some won't. But at the end it will all fit. Also I have added two lines early into the scond chapter. You don't have to go back and read them. Hotch notices Emily's wedding rings. I forgot to put that in the last chapter and that was my bad. So yes Emily is still married in the last chapter.

It hit him like a thunderbolt. He almost swayed on his feet. But his training allowed him to stay perfectly still. His voice was deceptively calm. "Hello Ms. Prentiss it's a pleasure to meet you." He took her hand and brought it to his lips and kissed it. He allowed himself the briefest of moments to memorize the taste of her skin, her scent, and the feel of her hand. He was hooked. And he never wanted the cure.

Before this moment love at first sight was only something you read about in cheesy love stories and bad romantic movies. It couldn't possibly exist in real life. This was what she had thought until he stood before her in his black suit looking all James Bond. She loved the feel of his lips on her hand. For a brief moment she wondered what those lips would feel like on the rest of her body. "Agent Hotchner, the pleasure is all mine."

Ambassador Prentiss had been looking away, but she noticed that their hands held each other just a moment too long. "Well Agent I'm sure you have many things to do today."

Hotch stopped smiling at the pretty woman and let the mask that hid all of his emotions fall into place. He still wasn't used to it, but having had some experience as an actor helped. "Of course Ambassador." He shot a smile to both women and walked away.

"Emily."

Emily had been looking at the new hot Federal Agent. _God he's got a nice ass._ She didn't need to turn around to see her mother giving her a very disapproving look. She could hear it in the tone. And she had had a lot of experience with her mother disapproving of her and her actions. "Yes mother."

"You're going to go too soon."

"Yes mother I know. I made the reservation."

"Just making sure you remember. Wouldn't want you to get … distracted would we?"

"No mother. I won't get distracted."

"Good." Her mother walked away with out a backwards glance. Emily sighed it was hard to miss her mother's real conversation. _I hate sub textual conversations. I am not going to let anything or anyone "distract" me from my goal. I am going to join the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit. But that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun. Or maybe a lot of fun. _

/

"Agent Hotchner what a pleasant surprise." _Ha so not a surprise. I had to talk to four members of his team to find out where you liked to go to drink._

"Ms. Prentiss. This is a surprise." _Is it really? Somehow I doubt it._

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"What guy would mind if a beautiful woman joined him?"

"Charmer. Flattery will get you nowhere." _Or everywhere._

"I speak only the truth. Which happens to work for you."

"I think I am going to have to watch myself around you. Saying those kinds of things a girl could lose her head."

"What'll you have?"

"A Bombay Sapphire and 7-up please. And you what do you have?"

"I like Jack Daniels and coke."

"How do you like the FBI?"

Aaron raised his eyebrow quizzically before answering her. "I like the FBI. I was a lawyer. I worked for the U.S. Attorney's office. But I wanted to catch the bad guys, stop them from hurting more people."

"So I'm guessing being the head of security for an Ambassador isn't your dream job."

"Well all jobs have some perks." He smiled at her.

His smile was dazzling. She fell in love with his dimples. _Oh yeah I'm so taking him home tonight._ "Really, what kinds of perks are there in this assignment?" She smiled back.

She has an amazing smile her pearly whites a beautiful contrast in the middle or her crimson lips. "Well for one I've been assigned to this wonderful city. Paris is an amazing city."

"It is an amazing city."

"What about you are you enjoying being here? This isn't really home I guess?"

"I have never really had a home. One place is as good as another. Although Paris is starting to grow on me."

"Really? Why's that?"

"Well I something happened today. Something I wasn't expecting. Something that changed the game." She leaned in slightly.

"Really what?" He leaned in the faces were inches from each other.

"I fell in love."

Her breath was hot on his face. "Fell in love with what?"

Their lips were almost touching. "I fell in love with … the food. It's amazing here." She leaned back and laughed.

"That was mean."

Emily smiled. "Maybe just a little. How about I make it up to you?"

"How do you propose to do that?"

"Have you ever taken a tour of the "city of lights"?"

"No I haven't. But how are you going to take me on a tour you only just got here?"

"I've been to Paris a time or two. C'mon."

/

They walked near down the streets of Paris enjoying the sights, sounds, and each other company. They had stopped at a fountain and each thrown in a coin. They made a silent wish to the heavens. They stood there in silence. Hotch started humming a tune.

"What are you humming?"

"It's a little clichéd, but I can't help it. It's La vie en Rose."

"How does it go?" She knew how it went she could speak French, but she wanted to hear him sing it.

He looked at her, and she smiled. His confidence buoyed. He sang in a slow and soft voice. "Hold me close and hold me fast. The magic spell you cast. This is la vie en rose. When you kiss me heavens sighs. And though I close my eyes. I see la vie en rose." He took her in her arms and they slowly danced together. Their bodies moved together to the tune they both heard in their heads. They moved slowly and sensuously.

"When you press me to your heart. I'm in a world apart. A world where roses bloom." Emily voice broke though the night, soft and sweet.

Aaron said nothing as he heard Emily sing. He simply enjoyed the sound of her voice and the feel of her body.

"And when you speak … Angels sing from above. Everyday words seem … to turn into love songs." They sang together and stared into each others eyes. Silently daring the other to look away.

They continued dancing neither wanting to be the one to sing the last line. They weren't sure they were ready to say it. They pulled each other close and stood there, the dance over. They looked into each others eyes.

"Let's go somewhere more private."

"Where do you have in mind? We can't go back to the Embassy. I doubt your mother would approve."

"I know a place."

They walked in silence, arms around the other's waist, and Emily's head resting on Aaron's shoulder. There was no need to say anymore.

**Give your heart and soul to me. And life will always be. La vie en rose.**

A/N So I'm messing with Hotch's character a little bit but we don't know what he was like so I think I'm allowed. One thing I want to mention he has the nickname Hotch, but he doesn't use it. Emily calls him Aaron. That will be important later. So I'm taking the weekend off, but I will be back monday morning with more stories to tell. Happy Halloweed everyone if you want to give me a treat please review


	4. The fates conspire

A/N Ok so I am not fan of this chapter, which is ironic considering the original idea for this chapter is the basis for the original story that this fic is based on. But I don't know it doesn't work as well as I envisioned. Anyways enough of me on with the story.

Hotch was walking along the waterfront. It was an ordinary day, and he was filling it with ordinary things. But the fates conspired to make it an extradinary day.

_All right what do I need to pick up? Eggs, milk, holy crap is that who I think? It is, it's Emily. I have to talk to her. I have to explain._

He jogged over to her. "Emily."

She looked up with a start. _I know that voice. Shit. Why does he have to show up now? Not now. Not when things are going good. The fates must hate me._ "Aaron. How are you?" Her voice was diplomatic.

"Emily I want to explain. That night-."

"I don't want to hear it."

"Emily I-."

"Aaron I swear to god if you say one more word about that. I will walk away. And I will never talk to you again."

Aaron nodded sadly. He wanted to explain. But he understood, maybe she would let him explain another time.

"How have you been Aaron? How's the FBI?"

"It's good. I've been recruited into a unit of the FBI called the BAU."

"Really." _Dammit why does he get my dream job? The fates must despise me._

"What's new with you?"

_Crap. Oh I so don't want to do this. Why me? _She said nothing but lifted up her left hand.

_Fuuuckkk. _You're getting married? When?" His voice choked up.

"Next week."

He was in a daze. He nodded, mumbled good-bye, and started to walk away.

_I can't let us end this way. Not after everything. We deserve better than this. _"Aaron wait. Come to the wedding."

"What?"

"Come to the wedding. Let's put the past in the past. Come to the wedding as my guest. Let's start a new chapter."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"You know why not. I can't subject myself to that. No one deserves to have to go through that."

"You make it sound like torture."

"It is."

"Why can't you move on? After everything I would think it would be easy for you."

"It isn't. I can't watch you walk down the isle and marry someone else."

She shook her head. "If you change your mind, we're getting married at the Emerald Pines resort. The wedding is on Saturday at 3:00. There are rooms available to all of the guests."

Aaron said nothing and walked away.

_Fuck. That could have gone better._

/

He found a liquor store and bought a bottle of Jack Daniels. He found a quiet place and started to drink.

_I can't go home. Not yet. I can't deal with her now. _

_God why did it have to go down like this. It could have been so good. It could have been better than the fairy tales. Why the fuck did it have to go this way?_

Not for the first time he cursed the fates for their role in that night.

_What am I going to do now? I can't go. There's no way I could go through that. ... I can't not go. I love her. Crap. I need to talk to someone. _

/

She couldn't go home. She couldn't face him. Not yet. Not while her mind was still reeling. Not when she didn't know what she wanted. She cursed the fates. It seemed they were bored and they wondered what mischief could they play on her. _Why can't they leave me alone? Haven't they done enough? Fuck what am I going to do now?_

/

He knocked on the door. He was scared. This wasn't something he normally did. A man opened the door. "Hotch what's wrong?"

"Dave I need some help. Can I talk to you?"

"Sure kid come in."

Later he walked out of the house. His emotions still not on solid ground.

_Dave's right. I have to tell her what happened. She's not going to want to hear it, but I have to tell her. No matter what happens, I have to tell her the truth of what happened that night. _

/

She opened the door, and was surprised by who it was. "What are you doing here?"

"I know you don't want to hear it but I have to tell you what happened that night."

"Aaron I am not talking to you about that. I swear if you say one more word, I will hurt you."

_You can't hurt me anymore than I am. But I can see you're serious._ "Fine you win. I won't say anymore." He dropped his head defeated.

They stood there in a painful silence. Finally she spoke. "Have you thought anymore about coming to the wedding?"

"What's the point? It appears this is the end of our story. Why would I want to watch the beginning of your story with someone else?" His voice was low and full of sadness. There was defeat in his voice.

It hurt her to see him like this. This was not the Aaron she knew. She moved closer to him, and raised her arm. She stopped short of touching him. She didn't have that right anymore. And it would only cause more harm than good. For both of them. "Aaron … You need to get over us. You need to let us go. It's not healthy."

He sadly walked away. He turned back. "How do you get over the perfect girl?" He walked away before she could answer.

A/N So let me know what you think, review.


	5. Give me the words

A/N I own nothing espcially the song "Sewn".

Give me the song and I'll sing it like I mean it  
Give me the words and I'll say them like I mean it  
Cos you got my heart in a headlock  
You stopped the blood and made my head soft  
And God knows  
You've got me sewn

I can't do the walk  
I can't do the talk  
I can't be your friend  
Unless I pretend

Danny boy, don't be a fool  
Take upon to break a rule  
Danny boy you're lookin' so low  
You lookin' like the dead grown old  
Anyway the blues may just wash away, if you wait for a rainy day  
But you may find, the chance had passed you by

JJ saw a woman entering the bullpen carrying a moving box. She had pale skin, and long black hair. JJ had seen her before. _Right she was in Hotch's office before the last case. Hotch was off after meeting with her. I wonder who she is?_

_Being the new person sucks. No one was making an effort to greet me. I don't know anyone. And Aaron is my new boss. I got my dream job. Isn't life grand?_ Emily noticed a blonde woman approaching her. _She interrupted my first meeting with Aaron. What was her name again … JJ that's what he called her._

JJ offered out her hand, "Hi my name is Jennifer Jareau, but everyone calls me JJ."

Emily smiled and shook the blonde woman's hand. "I'm Emily Prentiss."

"It's a pleasure to meet you. You were in Hotch's office the other day. Are you transferring into the team?"

"Yes I am."

"Well then, welcome. Have you met the rest of the team?"

"No no I haven't."

"Well let me introduce you around. I'm the media liaison." She pointed to a tall dark skinned man, "And this is Derek Morgan. Derek this is the new girl, Emily Prentiss."

Morgan smiled a beautiful smile and took her hand and kissed it. "Hello it is truly a pleasure to meet you."

Emily laughed and lifted up her left hand to show him a wedding ring. "A lady killer huh? Sorry but I'm taken."

"Forever my lot in life, all the beautiful ones are taken."

"Ok down boy, we don't want to scare her one her first day." She dragged Emily away. C'mon there are a few more people to meet."

"Is he always like that?"

"No he's harmless. Well somewhat harmless. Speaking of harmless. Here we have our resident genius, Dr. Spencer Reid. Reid this is Emily Prentiss."

"Hello it's a pleasure to meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you. Doctor of what?"

"Mathematics, chemistry, and Engineering."

"Not criminology? What are you doing in the BAU? Why aren't you a scientist somewhere?"

She saw the hurt look on his face. And she immediately moved forward and put her hand on his arm. "I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. It's just kind of odd, you must be some kind of genius to have three doctorates. But you chose to become a profiler. I was just curious why?"

His face softened. "I wanted to stop people from getting hurt."

Emily could see the pain he tried to hide. She smiled sympathetically. "I understand."

JJ lightly guided her away. "C'mon I want you to meet our Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia."

When they got out of earshot of the bullpen Emily leaned neared to JJ. "I hope I didn't hurt Reid's feelings. He's just so young."

JJ smiled. "He is young, but he is so smart. Trust me, it's amazing what his brain can do. He's given us the key piece of information so many times."

"I hope you don't think this is too forward. But I'm sensing a lot of pride and affection in your voice. Is there something going on with you?"

JJ said nothing, but Emily could see a wall slam shut on her face. _Damn, put my foot in my mouth twice in one day. I've got to be careful. Last thing I need is everyone hating me. Especially the one person that's been nice to me. _"I'm so sorry if I offended you. I shouldn't have asked, that kind of thing is personal. It was wrong to ask. Am I forgiven?"

JJ could see she was being sincere. Being the new girl she was probably just trying to get the lay of the land. "It's ok. Here this is Garcia's office." She knocked on the door and then opened it. "Garcia, I have someone I want you to meet, this is Emily Prentiss."

"Hello, are you going to be joining our merry band of superheros?"

Emily gave a confused look to JJ, who only smiled. "Uhh I guess."

Garcia gave a happy squeal and bounded forward and enveloped Emily. Emily was startled, but awkwardly hugged her back. _Well working here looks it will never be dull._

Dave noticed the new girl walk towards an unoccupied desk, and put down her box. _She looks a lot like … Ohhh. That's why Aaron's been in a foul mood all week. _

He walked into Hotch's office without knocking.

Hotch didn't look up. "Don't you knock Dave? What if I was doing something private?"

Dave ignored the question. "That's her isn't it? The girl. How long has it been?"

"Since the last time? … Three years. Three years, 5 months, and 21 days."

"Not that you've been counting. Why is she here?"

"She's here to join our team."

"And out of all of the possible candidates you picked her?" Dave couldn't keep the incredulity out of his voice. He raised his eyebrows and looked away.

"I didn't **pick** her Dave. Someone higher up on the food chain put her in here."

"Is she a political appointee? Her mother's an ambassador right? Did she pull some strings?"

Hotch sighed and stopped all pretense of working. "I don't know. But I doubt it. She always hated politics. She has the qualifications to be here. In fact she might be the most qualified applicant. … This is her dream job." He remembered all of their conversations about her working in this unit. He almost smiled as he remembered the location for those conversations and what they were wearing.

Her bed and nothing.

He didn't smile though. He couldn't smile. It would hurt too much. He had to bury it. He had to be like her. No heart. No emotions. He was better now at hiding his emotions, at putting on that mask. So much better. The mask was now like a second skin.

"Is the team going to have problems?"

"No. We are both professionals. She can compartmentalize like no one I've ever seen. She won't tell anyone. And I'm not going to tell anyone." He stared at Rossi with a hard questioning look.

"I'm not going to tell anyone."

A silence fell on the room. Dave turned and walked towards the door. Before he opened it he asked, "Do you still have it?"

"I carry it everywhere I go."

"Are you going to tell her?"

"I've tried she won't listen."

"She has to listen now. She can't just walk away."

"At this point it would do more harm than good."

"What are you going to do?"

"What I've done all this time."

"Does it work?"

"Most days."

"It's not fair to her you know?"

"She knows the score. She's known the score for a long time."

"She's an amazing woman."

"She is."

"She deserves better than you."

"She does."

Dave opened the door and walked out. He noticed JJ bringing Emily back from Garcia's office. _It's time I meet this girl I've heard so much about. _He walked over to the ladies.

JJ and Emily walked back into the bullpen. "There's only one more member of our team you have to meet since you've already met Hotch."

"Yes I've already met A- Hotch." Emily hoped JJ didn't notice she almost called their boss Aaron. _I so don't want to explain that. No one needs to know about me and Aaron. I'm going to have to make sure I practice calling him Hotch._

JJ noticed Dave. "Emily this is Dave Rossi. Dave this is Emily Prentiss."

"It's an honor to meet you, sir." Emily's face lit up. _Oh my god David Rossi. Ok don't make a fool of yourself. _

"Hello Emily it's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

_What does that mean?_

"If you'll excuse me ladies, I have to get back to work." He sauntered away. _Well life is about to get a lot more interesting._

Hotch watched as Dave talked to Emily. _Old man why can't you mind your own business? All right now matter what happened you can't treat her like you did when she showed up. You can't be a jerk, people will start asking questions. And you know you don't want that. I've got to get us to neutral. We can both live with neutral_. He poked his head out of the office. "Prentiss can you come into my office please?"

_Great gonna get yelled at again about … something. Why can't you grow up Aaron. Hotch I've got to call him Hotch._ "You wanted to see me."

He was standing his arms crossed over his chest, and he was looking at the floor. "Yes close the door Prentiss. … I'm sorry about how I treated you when you came to my office."

_An apology. Holy crap was not expecting that._

He continued. "Seeing you was a massive surprise. But it's no excuse. We are going to have to work together, and that's not going to go well if we are angry with each other. So I'm sorry. And I won't do it again."

Her words were slow and deliberate, "Thank you, Hotch." She turned and walked away. There was nothing left to say. Nothing that hadn't already been said many times. Now she would have to wait and see if he meant what he said.

_Maybe he does. That apology was hard for him. Maybe this time will be different. _

_Neither of us can afford what happened last time._

A/N So let me know what you think.


	6. The fates give

The first thing Aaron noticed was the smell. A myriad assault of different scents, the bread, the coffee, the river. So many scents tickled his nose. He hadn't quite got used to them all. Today there was a new scent. A very pleasant scent. A scent of lavender. And then he remembered.

The woman.

Emily Prentiss.

Dancing.

La vie on Rose.

Their late night activities.

A big smile formed on Aaron's face. He opened his eyes to most beautiful view he had ever seen. Emily Prentiss lay naked in front of him. The covers just came up to the small of her back. She lay on her stomach her face turned towards him.

He gently ran his fingers up and down her back. He didn't want to wake her. He eyes devoured her. They memorized every inch of her perfect form. He hoped she wouldn't wake. He wanted this moment to last. When she woke anything could happen, this magic dream could all be over. But as long as she slept the world was right.

She opened her eyes and saw Aaron looking at her with an odd look. _Is that love?_ Her face softened and she smiled. This was so much more than just fun. "Are you ready for round five? Or is it six?"

"Six. I think. But we unfortunately we don't have that kind of time."

"We could be quick." She cajoled looking at him with puppy dog eyes. She didn't want this to end. Not yet. She wasn't sure if he wanted this to be a one time thing. She didn't, and if he did she wanted this to last as long as possible.

Aaron laughed and flicked Emily's nose. "Insatiable little minx."

Emily said nothing and pulled Aaron into a kiss. Her hand wandered south and found Aaron ready. "Looks like I'm not the only one."

Later after round six Aaron looked at his watch. "Shit I've got to go. Your mom's going to have my hide." He hurriedly started putting on his clothes.

Emily rolled out of bed, the covers falling from her naked body, she strolled nonchalantly over to where Aaron had momentarily stopped his frantic attempts to get dressed. Without a care in the world and trying to hide her smile Emily remarked, "I thought you were going to be late."

Aaron's brain needed a second, the sight of this beautiful woman in front of him had banished all thoughts from his brain. _Wait there is something important I'm supposed to be doing. Right? Something important. … Think. Work. My career. Her mother. Damn._ Aaron resumed his efforts to get ready.

"Emily before I go, am I going to see you later?"

"Do you want to see me later?"

"Absolutely. Let's meet at the fountain. Say 6:30?"

"I'll be there." She walked over and gave him a deep kiss. Then pulled back, Aaron not wanting to break contact leaned forward, but she had already moved away. "That will have to hold you until later."

"It just makes me want you now."

"Sucks to be you." She said with a wicked twinkle in her eye.

"You are a rather cruel woman."

Emily said nothing but smiled real big. Aaron shook his head and walked out the door.

/

Later that night they went dancing. They ended up back at the room they had shared the previous night.

For three months it was like that. Aaron rushing out in the morning afraid he would get caught by her mother. Some mornings they had sex, if they woke up early enough. Usually though it was a hurried kiss, and a mad dash to the door. Then it was night and they spent time walking the streets of Paris. They visited every fountain, of which there are many in Paris, that was there thing. The fountains of Paris were filled with their coins. Sometimes they danced, sometimes they went to a show. But always they had to be careful. They couldn't go to certain places, had to avoid certain parts of town.

They only time they were ever free was the weekends. On the weekends they could leave Paris. They could go where they want and be who they want. There wasn't a mad rush in the mornings. They could enjoy their time together.

It was a morning in Vienna. Aaron lay in the hotel room awake Emily in his arms. The summer was coming to a close. She was going to be going to Yale soon. _Is this going to be over soon? Am I a fling? Can we survive the separation?_ He hadn't slept much that night. These questions haunted him. He had fallen hard for this woman. He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with her.

"We have to talk?"

Emily slowly opened her eyes. _This can't be good. Why now? Why did this have to happen now?_ "That phrase rarely means good things. Especially this early in the morning."

"The summer is almost over."

"And I'm going to school. In America. Our little world is about to take a big hit."

"Is it going to take a hit, or is it going to get sunk?"

"What do you want?" _Please say you want to stay with me, please say you want to stay with me._

"I want you. For always. For keeps."

Emily breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god. That's what I want to. I don't want this to end. Can you come with me?"

"I am going back to America, but on the other side. I'm being reassigned to Seattle."

"Seattle. That's a long ways away."

Aaron looked down into her eyes. "Hey look at me. We can do this. This, us, we are stronger than any distance. Our love, this is the stuff that story books are written about."

He leaned in and kissed her. When they broke she responded. "That was beautiful and only 50% cheesy."

"I do what I can. ... Hey I got to go."

"Where are you going? The whole reason for us to get out of Paris was so you wouldn't have to rush out in the mornings."

"It's a surprise. I'll see you later."

/

That evening Emily walked around a crowded cruise line looking for Aaron. He had sent her a short message telling her to meet him on the boat. Finally she spotted him sitting at a table. He stood as she got closer to him. "Hey you found me. C'mon let's dance."

Aaron led her to the dance floor. He nodded to the bandleader. The band started to play "La Vie En Rose".

"They're playing our song." Emily leaned in to kiss him and put her hand on his heart.

He drew back with a hiss.

"What's wrong are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Just a little tender."

"What going's on?"

Hotch pulled back his shirt and over his heart was a square bandage.

"Aaron oh my god. Are you all right? What happened?"

"Don't worry I'm fine. I just got a tattoo."

"A tattoo. Can I see it?"

Aaron slowly pulled back the bandage. Emily looked saw two musical bars with notes on them. They weren't in a straight line though. They flowed like a river.

"What is it?"

"It's the opening and closing stanzas of "La Vie En Rose" hold me close and hold me fast, this magic spell you cast, this is la vie en rose. Give your heart and soul to me, and life will always be, la vie en rose."

"Why do the lines move like that? Why aren't they straight?"

"When we got her, the first night you remember we came on this boat?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I asked you what color the water is? And you said blue. There's a legend that the Danube is only blue to people who are in love. So the lines flow like the river, it's also why the tattoo is blue."

"Ok that is like 90% percent cheesy. Just so you know. But ... it's also very romantic."

She kissed him again. They stayed in each other's arms and danced the night away. Just the two of them in their own little world.

A/N So sometimes I wish that all writing was the same. The idea I had for the three month time jump would have been perfect in a movie. You show Aaron rushing out in the morning, cut to them walking by a fountain, cut to them dancing, cut to them in bed, cut to them in London, or Prague. So much easier and better than what I did. But oh well. I still like it. Let me know what you think.


	7. Aaron's other woman

A/N So this is the new chapter seven. Hope it answers some questions other chapters have raised.

The ring was burning a hole in his pocket. He had planned his whole evening with "the question" in mind. They had been together a long time. They had had their share of ups and downs. Some of the downs had been real doozies, but she had stuck with him through thick and thin. He didn't know what he had done to deserve her. He didn't know why she put up with him.

He looked across the table to the woman he loved. _It's now or never._

/

Haley walked into the room. She took one look and knew something was up. The room was bathed in candlelight. There was a slender glass vase in the center of the table with a single red rose.

Throughout dinner there was no hint as to what made this night such a special occasion. They talked but it was about simple things, trivial things, the daily minutiae. If she had been a profiler she would have seen the small movements Aaron made to his right jacket pocket obsessively making sure the ring was still there.

"Haley. I love you. And I don't know why you've stuck with me all this time, but I'm glad you did. You helped put me back together. And now I want to do everything I can to make you happy for the rest of our lives." He got down in front of her on one knee, pulled the velvet box out of his pocket, and opened it to reveal a diamond ring, "Haley Brooks, will you marry me?"

"Yes. Aaron, yes. I will marry you." She put the ring on her finger. It looked beautiful. _I'm getting married. _She jumped Aaron, tackling him to the floor, and kissed him.

After, as they lay in each other's arms, holding each other Haley couldn't stop staring at her ring.

"It's not going to go away, you know."

"I just can't believe it's real."

"It's real."

They lay in silence enjoying the afterglow.

Haley looked up at Aaron, "The theater is doing a show soon, auditions are in a couple of months. ... Smith is in the running to direct."

"Smith. Now there's a name I haven't heard in a while. When did he get back?"

"About two weeks ago. We met up when you were on that case in Sioux City."

"What's the show?"

"I don't know. He was talking about a Tennessee Williams play, or maybe 'How I Learned to Drive.'"

"Are you going to audition?"

"I need to think about it. Auditions are in two months, then two months rehearsal, then a month run. We would be pretty far into wedding plans, it would be difficult to be doing a show during the midst of that."

"I think you should audition. You're going to need an escape from all of the stress of planning the wedding. It will be good for you."

"And what if Smith gets the job?"

"Does he still love you?"

"Yes, he does."

"You're not going to leave me for him are you?" he teased.

Haley playfully slapped him.

"Don't worry about the future, Haley. Worrying never changed anything."

"Did you get that from a fortune cookie?"

"No. _Karate Kid_."

"That's not in _Karate Kid_."

"Well then I probably did get it from a fortune cookie."

Haley shook her head, "Why am I marrying you, again?"

"Because I'm the world's greatest lover and one of the most handsome men."

"Don't forget the most delusional man."

"I'm a man of many talents."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"It's better to show than tell."

/

The next day a knock interrupted his work. His fiancee – he loved calling her his fiancee – entered his office. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm kidnapping you."

"Kidnapping? That's a serious offense."

"Good thing I'll have a Federal agent with me the entire time."

Aaron smiled and got up from his desk. They walked into the bullpen hand in hand.

Derek looked up from his desk, "If it's isn't the lovely Haley Brooks. How are you doing this fine day?"

"Hey Morgan, I am doing terrific." she said lifting her left hand and subtly showing off her new ring.

"Oh. My. God. That is a big honking ring. Did Boss Man finally finally stop acting like an idiot and propose?"

"Garcia."

"Sorry Hotch, but come on, how long have you been dating the lovely Haley? And you're only now proposing?"

JJ and Dave walked out of their offices at the commotion Garcia was making. They walked over to where the small group had gathered.

"So, Aaron, you finally proposed. Took you long enough"

"Finally?"

JJ ignored Hotch's question, "How did he do it?"

"He cooked me dinner, and we had a romantic candlelight dinner. After dinner he got down on one

knee and asked me to marry him."

The girls chorused, "Awws."

"Well if you're all done congratulating us we are going to get some lunch. I'll be back in a couple of hours."

"Actually, Aaron, I have something I need to run by you real fast. It will only take a couple of minutes."

"All right, Dave – let's make it quick." He turned to Haley, "I'll be back in a minute."

Haley stood in the middle of the bullpen, where everyone else had returned to their work. But one person hadn't congratulated her. She had ignored the whole encounter. Haley walked over to her. She stuck her hand out. "We've never been formally introduced. I'm Haley Brooks."

Emily looked up, surprised that Haley had introduced herself. She stood up and accepted the offered hand, "Emily Prentiss-Lawrence. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

The tension was palpable.

"I really mean it. The congratulations. He's lucky to have you."

"I'm lucky to have him."

"He's a great guy. Don't let him go."

"I don't intend to."

Aaron walked back into the bullpen he could see the tension radiating off of the two women.

_Wonderful._

He almost chuckled though at the fact that his team had apparently missed the whole thing. _And they call themselves profilers._ He walked over to Haley and put his arm around her. "Hey you ready to go?"

"Absolutely."

"See you later, Prentiss."

"Good-bye, sir. And congratulations."

Hotch and Haley entered the elevator. "What did she say to you?"

"Nothing in words, but the subtext was there. It was ..." Haley struggled to find the right words. She didn't want to get Emily in trouble. She believed Emily's words of congratulations. She believed Emily didn't love her fiance anymore. "Intense."

"Intense? Sounds like you're leaving something out."

"Nothing important. She's happy for us."

"Really?"

"What – did you think she was still hung up on you after all of these years?"

"No. I know she isn't. Now, that's enough talk about the past. Let's talk about the future."

A/N The title of this chapter does not mean anything negative, there are no negative connotations. It just fits that Haley is the other woman in Aaron's life. But not in a bad way. Let me know what you think, review.


	8. The fates mock

Hotch walked into the Emerald Pines Resort.

_What am I doing here? Why am I doing this to myself? This is so stupid. _

He looked up and everything, all the worry, fears, self-doubt, all of the bad things in his life disappeared. She looked splendid in her in white strapless wedding gown. He quickly walked over to her before a new set of fears showed up. She was pacing back and forth her face hard, her hands shaking.

"Hey how you doing?"

Her face softened. "You came."

"I did. And you didn't ask my question."

She looked away.

Aaron stepped forward and put his hands on her arms and turned her to face him. "Em, seriously are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Aaron."

"Liar. Are you to afraid admit you're nervous? ... Or are you afraid to admit it to me?" _Does this mean I have a chance? Is she having last minute regrets?_

Emily didn't respond just looked at him.

Before he could say anything the moment was ruined as two of the bridesmaids came to find Emily.

"Who were you talking to, Em?" Bridesmaid number one, whose name was Joy, asked.

"He's an old friend."

"An old friend who's really cute. I might have to find him later and have a dance with him." Bridesmaid number two, whose name was Julie, said giving Aaron one last look as they turned the corner.

/

Aaron had been looking for Emily, the service started soon, time was running out. If he was going to do this he had to do it now. He put his hand in his pocket, and closed his fingers around the familiar piece of metal. It was still there. He knocked on the door he had seen the bridesmaids exiting.

"Come in."

He walked in and once again he stoped to stare. She was perfect. She looked up into the mirror to see who had entered the room.

"Aaron what are you doing in here?"

"I came to give you your wedding present."

She looked at the portable cd player in his hand. "You do know you're supposed to wrap gifts right?"

"This isn't that kind of gift." He put the player down and hit play. A familar tune played through the speakers. "Would you like to dance?"

Emily listened for a moment to the music. Memories flooded her mind. So many wonderful moments.

"One last dance Em." He stepped foward to gently pull her into his arms. He started to sing. "Hold me close and hold me fast. The magic spell you cast. This is La Vie en Rose."

They danced together the music the only sound in the room. They didn't look at each other, they were both lost in their memories. They were in Paris, and for a moment life was grand.

_All right this is the moment. All you have to do is give it to her and then she'll know. _"I still have it." Aaron said looking into her eyes.

"Still have what?"

"This song, I still have it over my heart." _Come on don't do this don't chicken out._ ... This is the first time I've heard it since ... since that night.-"

And with that the magic spell ended for Emily. In the background still played, but she wasn't in Paris anymore. She was somewhere else. But she didn't want to think about that night. And then she was back, and she was getting married.

"Em, that night-."

"I don't want to hear it Aaron."

"Em you have to listen."

"No. I don't. Today is my wedding day. Did you forget that?"

"No."

"What was this? You thought you could play a song, and that would be it. I would run off with you into the sunset. This isn't a story. This is real life. I am getting married today. You need to deal with that."

Before he could say anything Joy and Julie came into the room. "Em it's time to-. Oh hello. Em it's time."

Emily stood up and walked over to her friends. "Goodbye Aaron." She turned back to look at him. "... We'll always have Paris."

"It wasn't what you think." Aaron said to her retreating figure hoping his words would stop her. They didn't.

The girls walked in silence towards the doors to the chapel. They stood waiting for their cue.

_What did he mean, it isn't what I think? Is he talking about that night? Is there something I don't know. Is there a reason he did what he did?_

Joy could see that Emily was asking herself some pretty tough questions, she wondered if they had anything to do with the cute boy that she had been with in her dressing room. like"Em, are you all right? What's going on? Is this about that guy?"

"What no. It's ... It's nothing."

"He's here with a date."

"What? He showed up with a date?" Emily couldn't believe it. _After everything he said, he shows up to the wedding with a date. Unbelievable._

"Yeah, _does that matter_?" Joy asked turning to stare at Emily hoping she would give something up.

She didn't. She just put Aaron in a little box and tucked him away. Or at least well enough to fool her friends. "It doesn't. It's just suprising is all." _He brought a date. I guess he didn't mean all of those things he said._

/

"I do."

Aaron stared at Emily as the minister pronounced her someone's wife. He watched as she kissed her husband._ Nooooooooooooooooooo. It can't end like this. Not like this._

_I need a drink. Or several hundered drinks._

Aaron stumbled out of the chapel. And found the bar. "I need a drink."

"The bar's not open yet."

Aaron glared at him. The young man faltered. "I said. I need a drink."

"The bar's not ... not. The bar's not open." The young man managed to stammer out.

Aaron continued to glare at the young man. But he didn't move. "Look kid. I have had a very bad day. I need a drink. Now are you going to pour me a drink. Or do I have to have go back there and pour my own drink?"

The young man waited a moment before giving up. "What will you have?"

"The best scotch you have. A double. Neat." He looked at the amber liquid, then drained the glass. "Another. Just keep them coming."

A/N So I know this was short and kind of jumped around, but that is intentional. We will be coming back to this day and fill in some more of the blanks later. Review.


	9. The fates fray

A/N This isn't important but the original title of this chapter was Wedded Bliss? On with the story.

Go home everyone. We'll take care of the paperwork tomorrow."

"Thanks Hotch." Morgan replied before packing up his stuff and heading out.

Hotch looked over to Emily. She was sitting at her desk absently working on the folder in front of her. Her mind wasn't there though it was back in San Francisco. "Prentiss that means you too. Go home. Wash the blood from the back of your eyes. The paperwork will be here tomorrow."

"Thanks Aaron, Hotch, thanks Hotch."

Aaron said nothing just nodded as he looked at the floor. He walked back to his office.

_Dammit Emily. You've been here six months. He's only Hotch. Never Aaron. Stupid. What if someone had heard? What would you do then?_ She shook her head.

/

The drive home all she could think about were the victims. She couldn't get the gruesome images out of her mind. The fact that they caught the guy was a small comfort. All she wanted was a hot bath and some time spent with her husband. He would make it all go away.

/

She set down her bag so she could pull her keys from her pocket. She was glad to be home. She hadn't realized it, but she was exhausted. _It's good thing Hotch sent me home. I would have fallen asleep at my desk. And that would not have gone over well._

She opened the door and noticed the chill in the place. _Wonderful._

Her husband walked into the room. "Welcome home. Catch another bad guy." There was no warmth in his tone, just a touch of anger and bitterness.

She tried to put on a cheerful front hoping to counteract his mood. "We did." She walked over to him and leaned into kiss him. He didn't respond to the kiss just stood there. "I'm hungry do you want anything?" She wasn't going to say anything. That would only lead to a fight.

"I'm not hungry." He followed her to the kitchen. She was pulling some leftovers out of the fridge. "You were gone a week."

"It took a while to find him. I'm back now isn't that what matters?"

... "It gets lonely here without you. Why can't you get a job like before when we were in or Chicago. You wouldn't have to travel. you could come home at a decent hour every night."

Emily tried not to roll her eyes. They had been having this fight for weeks. Part of her had been glad to be gone for a week. But you can't run away form your problems.

He looked down at the floor. "... You wouldn't have to work with him."

That caught her attention. She looked up and locked her eyes with his. "Is that what this is about? The fact that I work with him. Where did this come from?"

"I don't like that you have to work with him."

"It's not exactly my favorite thing either. But he hasn't done anything. He's treated me professionally and with civility."

"Until he gets lonely and says something. Or does something stupid like the wedding." He spat out. He looked away. He was trying to hold his anger in. He didn't want to fight. He just ... He hated her boss.

"Will you let the wedding go. It's over. Nothing happened." She walked over to him. She put her hand on his face and gently pulled it so he was looking at her. "I love you. I'm with you. I can't change the past. I can't help what he did. But I'm here. I'm not with him. I don't want to be with him. I'm yours Johnny Lawerence."

He smiled and leaned down and kissed her. "I missed you. The world's not as fun when you're not around."

"I missed you to. Let me show you how much." She said as she started unbuttoning her shirt.

/

Emily knocked on the door before opening and stepping into the office.

JJ looked up from her desk. "What's up Em?"

Emily plopped down on the sofa. "Tell me about Spencer."

That caught JJ off guard. Since her gaffe the first day, Emily had never said another word about the couple. _What's going on?_ "What's going on?"

"We're friends right?"

"Yes. We are." JJ replied tenatively, unsure where this conversation was going.

"Well it occurs to me that we've never talked about you and Spencer. And if you don't mind I would like to you about him. What's he like?"

JJ looked down at her desk. "He's ... he's sweet, he's kind."

"He doesn't quote statistics all the time does he?"

JJ put on a mock annoyance look. "No. He doesn't."

Emily chewed her bottom lip. ... "What's he like in bed?"

"EMILY."

"What I'm curious? He's the ultimate nerd, a girl's gotta wonder. I mean I've seen his hands."

"EMILY."

"Ok, ok. I won't ask anymore about "wonder boy" skills in bed."

"Thank you."

They sat there for a moment in silence. Before Emily abruptly sat up. "Well JJ I've taking enough of your time. I should let you get back to work."

"Uh, ok Emily. Nice talking to you." _Ok that was weird. I wonder what that was all about?_

Emily returned to her desk with a smile on her face. _It was nice to talk to someone whose relationship was going good. I should talk to her. We're friends. Didn't I just tell her that? Who are you kidding she doesn't know much about you. She's never meet Johhny. She doesn't know about you and Hotch. You've kept her at arm's length. She wouldn't judge you. You could talk to her. Who elese are you going to talk to. Mother. Ha. That's a joke. You've never really made friends where ever you go?_

She looked up at Hotch's office. _Could I talk to him? N0! What's wrong with you? Why would you do that to him? Why would you do that to Johnny?_

_But he was such a good listener._

_But he's not yours anymore. You can't tell him about the problems you are having with your husband. _

_What am I going to do? Last night was wonderful. But it didn't solve anything. Their problems were still there. They weren't going to go away no matter how good the sex was. He wanted her home. And she was home as often as she could be. But it wasn't enough. Can it be enough?_

Emily sighed in frustration. _What am I going to do? I am not quitting. This is my dream job. ... Uhhh. What am I going to do?_

A/N So the first look at Emily's husband. Sorry to all of those of you who wanted him to be someone from the show, and not an OC. But I couldn't think of anyone, but Mick Rawson. And I didn't want to do that. I haven't been getting a lot of reviews are people still reading this. Let me know.


	10. A happy home?

He was tired, bone tired. San Fransico had taken it out of him. For once not even he had stayed to do paperwork. All he wanted was to go home to his fiancee. She would make him feel better. She always did.

He opened the door, and immediately felt safe and happy. The room was warm, not temperature wise, emotionally warm.

Haley walked into the living room a smile on her face. "Aaron. It's good you're home. Come on." She said taking a hold of his arm, she led him outside. She started removing her clothing. Hotch just stood there. "Are you going to join me, or do you want to satnd there all night?"

Hotch smiled and started removing his clothes. Naked they climbed into the hot tub. Haley glided over to Hotch. She kneaded his tired muscles.

Hotch let out a satisfied groan. He looked back. "Tell me about your day."

"Smith cast me again. I'm going to be Li'l Bit from "How I Learned to Drive"."

"That's an intense play. Is he going to have closed rehearsals for the rape scenes?"

"At the start yeah. It'll just be him, me, the guy playing Uncle Peck, and the stage manager."

"It's good you're working with Smith again. It will be good to have someone you trust at the beginning. Do you know who your costar is?"

"No. ... You don't mind me working with Smith again?"

"No. Why would I?"

"Well ..."

"Oh. You mean the fact that he is love with you. I haven't cared this entire time. Why would I start now? So he loves you. It just shows he's a smart guy. How could he not love you?

Haley smiled. Hotch fell silent. Melencholy settled over him.

Haley felt him tense up again. "Was it bad?"

"Yeah it was a bad one." He didn't elaborate. He never did. It wasn't a world he wanted her to see. The fact that he had to see it was bad enough. He wanted to keep it away from her.

"Is that why you're home so soon?"

"What are you disappointed?"

"A little. Usually after a case you spend a couple of hours doing paperwork. I had the milkman coming over in a little while."

"Sorry to disappoint you. I can always go out, He only need like what five minutes and then he's done? I could come back, finish what he started."

"Or you could stay. Be here from start to finish."

"I got to admit I like that idea better." He leaned and kissed her. His hand ghosting over her nipples.

/

Later after they had finished. Hotch held her in the water. He didn't say anything just held onto taking comfort in the fact that she was there and alive, and that he could touch her.

She didn't say anything for a long time. She knew this was more than just enjoying the afterglow, she knew he needed to do this. He didn't talk about the cases. She knew he was trying to protect her. That his world was a Pandora's box, and once you opened it the evils would be released forever, and she would never unleanr the horrors. But sometimes she wished she knew what he was going through. It was hard to help him, when she didn't know what was wrong.

Finally she broke the silence. "It was a really bad one wasn't it?"

He was silent for a few moments. Moments that stretched, and felt a lot longer than they actually were. "It feels good to hold you. To have you close. To be able to touch you."

She tuned and straddled him "I wish you didn't have to go through this. ... Maybe you could transfer out. Get a desk job."

"You want me to leave the BAU?"

"I don't want you to suffer. I can see what this world does to you. It eats you up inside." She put her hand on his face. "I just want what's best for you."

He smiled at her. He hoped the smile was comforting. But he was too tired to be sure. "This is what's best for me. This, what I do. It's who I am. Like acting is for you. You could be a director, and it would be fine. But you wouldn't be happy, because you are an actor. It's that one thing that makes you happy to work. That's what this job is for me."

She kissed him. "Ok. If that's what you want. But I think we should revisit this conversation again when we decide to start a family. Your hours suck. I can deal with it a lot better than most people since my hours as an actress aren't the best either. But if we want to have a family, I going to have to take less jobs, or maybe start directing or teaching. You don't want to miss all of your kid's life because you were chasing some bad guy in who-knows-where."

Hotch nodded. He hadn't thought of that. He would want to be there for his kid. He wanted to be there every step of the way. Granted he could show up once a week, give his kid a pat on the head, say "Good job," and still be a million times better parent than either of his parents. But he wanted to be a great parent. He would rather not be a parent at all, than be a bad parent. And what kind of parent would he be if he was never there for his kid?

Haley cupped his face in her hands. "Hey, you don't have to worry. You are going to be a great parent. You're not going to be anything like your parents."

Hotch nodded.

"Come on we have some wedding details to talk over."

They got out, dried off, and put on some clothes, and then walked into the living room. Hotch looked at the large white folder that had all of the details, thoughts, and ideas for the wedding. "Do you really want my help with this? Or do you you just want to throw ideas at me, and have me agree with whatever?"

"No. I want your opinion."

Hotch was skepical, but why not? "All right if you say so. Just remember it was your idea, later when you're mad at me because I don't want to do what you want to do."

"That won't happen sweetie. In the end you and I both know that you don't care that much and you're just going to go along with whatever sounds good. What did you say the first time we talked about this? My idea for a dream wedding would be on the beach at sunset. I would wear a simple dress of whatever color I wanted, you would be wearing a shirt and pants no tie. Our friends and family would be there. And there would be flowers although you weren't sure what flowers. But outside of that the rest didn't really matter to you as long as I was happy."

"Yeah that sounds about right. So again, what do you need from me?"

"Don't you want to be a part of the decision process. It's your wedding too?"

"Yes it is, but no offense, I haven't been planning this since I was five. I always figured I would show up, wear my tux, say my vows or 'I do', kiss the bride, and go on the honeymoon."

"Men," Haley said, shaking her head.

"What? Ask any guy. Well, any straight guy. They don't care about the details. All that matters is they show up, don't make a fool of themselves, and they marry a hot bride. And you my dear are so hot." He said with a smile as he crossed the distance between them, wrapped her in his arms, and kissed her.

"You do have a way with words."

After a few minutes they stopped kissing. Haley moved back to the folder. "Well if nothing else we should talk about the guest list. Is there anyone you want to invite?"

"Sean. Obviously. Uh... Our friends. ... The team."

"Are you going to invite her too?"

Hocth took in a intake of breath through the teeth. "Would you mind?"

"Look she's not my favorite person. But that's not what's important. The question is do you want her there? After everything, do you want her at our wedding? I don't want anything like what happened at her wedding."

"That won't happen."

"Do you want her there?"

Hotch could hear the fear in her voice. He could see the slight tremble. He stepped forward and enveloped her in a tight hug. "Hey. You don't have to worry abut her. I'm with you. I'm happy with you. I'm marrying you."

"You still have her tattoo." The words weren't cold or malicious. They were stating a fact that's all.

"... ... ... The tattoo is more than just about her. She is my past." He looked into her eyes. "You are my future."

Haley nodded. "You still haven't answered the question. Do you want her there?"

Hotch thought about it. Do I want her there? Do I want to put her through what I went through? How arrogant is that? She doesn't feel anything for me like I did for her. Do I want to put Haley through anything. This is supposed to be the happiest day of her life. "No. We don't have to invite her."

"Is she going to be hurt?"

"I doubt it. We are just collegues now. What we once felt for each other is gone. It's just ashes now."

"Ok. I think that's enough wedding talk. Let's go to bed."

"That sounds like a good idea."

A/N Let me know what you think, review.


	11. The fates splinter

A/N So if you've been paying attention we've gone from 9 chapters to 11 chapters. But you've already read chapter 10. The other new chapter is chapter 7. A question was asked if Aaron was engaged when Emily showed up on her first day. So I went back and wrote a chapter to answer that question.

The separation was killing them. Whoever said, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" was an absolute idiot.

At first it was easy. They called each other every day. They told each other all about whatever happened to them in that day. All the little things that no one else cares about. They cared about those things. They helped them to connect to the other's world. It was always the highlight of their day.

But then one day a case caused Aaron to miss his appointed time to call. She had tried calling him, but he didn't answer. He never heard his phone.

A week later she missed her call-in time. It wasn't malicious. She had a huge paper to turn in the next morning. He called her, but she never heard the phone.

Finals week hit and they didn't talk for a week. Something had to change. They wouldn't survive the two year separation.

She flew out to Seattle on Thursday after her last final. He couldn't get away. She walked out of the Seattle airport. He wasn't there to meet her. She took a cab to his apartment.

The first night she sat in his apartment alone. He was finishing up a case. He promised to be home as soon as he could. He got in late. She was asleep on the couch waiting for him. He smiled. He stood in the doorway and just looked at her. It felt so good just to see her. He walked over to her and brushed her hair back. She stirred. She looked up at him from behind sleepy eyes.

"You're home."

"Finally. But there's good news."

"What's that?"

"I'm taking tomorrow off. You have me for the next three days Come on, let's go to bed."

He helped her up and half carried her up the stairs and into his bedroom. He got her undressed and into some bed clothes. He got ready for bed. He climbed into the bed and pulled her into his side. She was sound asleep. It felt good to have her in his arms again. It felt right.

The next day they fell into their old patterns. It was like before when they were visiting another city. They were free. No one to hide from, able to be themselves. They wandered through Pike's Place Market. Saw the men throwing the fish, ate at the restaurant from _Sleepless in Seattle_. It was a good day. At dinner Aaron pulled out a package from his jacket.

"What's this?"

"You have to open it to find out." he retorted.

She wanted to slap him but he was too far away, so instead she unwrapped the paper. Inside was a crystal rose with a milky white stem that transitioned into a dark blue bloom. "It's beautiful Aaron. Thank you."

"It's something to remember me by when you have to go back."

"Let's not talk about that now. Let's not ruin today."

He nodded. "OK. If we can't talk, I know just the thing to do." They left the restaurant and went to a dance club. All of their troubles and worries disappeared in the middle of the lights and loud music. Here there was only the two of them and the music – and that was all they ever needed. They didn't talk. Talking would break the spell. They communicated through touch and feel. They knew each other enough that there was no need for words. They knew when they had danced enough and when it was right to go back to Aaron's place. They barely made it in the house before they attacked each other, shedding clothes as fast as they could. The first time they didn't make it to the bed room.

Later they lay in his bed naked. Emily absently traced "her" tattoo, the words to their song forever written on his chest. "Have you listened to it since you've been here?"

"No. Not the whole thing. I put it on once. But without you here it just wasn't enough."

They fell silent. The silence hung in the air, making it thick. "Aaron. What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. But I do know what we can do now." He bent down and kissed her with abandon.

He didn't sleep that night. He lay there with her in his arms and wondered. Questions about what came next, what moves they had, could they survive another separation, could one of them move? No answers came, except one. He knew he didn't want to be separated from her again. This, her in his arms, this was right. The rest was less important. With that thought in mind he succumbed to sleep.

The next day they wandered around the city taking in the sights, again, rarely speaking. What they needed to say didn't need words. Touch was better. They spent the day in each others arms or holding hands. They stopped touching each other only out of absolute necessity.

Emily didn't sleep that night. Questions about tomorrow and the future haunted her. The fact that she didn't have any answers weighed heavily on her mind. She hoped morning never came. In the morning this pleasant little dream would all be over. They would have to face reality. But for now she was in his arms and life was good.

Aaron started tossing and turning, eventually she gave up and moved to the other side of the bed. It felt cold and lonely. Even though Aaron was two feet away it seemed a huge distance – to be so close and not be in his arms. _Can I really walk away and fly across the United States? Can I put that much distance between us, when this little distance is bad enough?_

She wasn't in his arms. The absence of her presence woke him up. He didn't look at the clock; it was late, or really early, depending on your perspective. He looked up and saw her on the other side of the bed.

"What are you doing way over there?"

You were tossing and turning. I was starting to bruise."

"We can't avoid it anymore, can we?"

"No."

Neither knew what to say next. The silence grew. It was amazingly uncomfortable. Both rushed to fill the silence with words. Any words.

"Emily I-."

"We -."

"You go."

"No, you."

"Yale's a great school. It would be stupid to ask you to transfer."

Emily nodded. She knew he was right. "So what happens now?"

"I can't be apart from you. I know that now. Monday morning, I'm going to go in and request a transfer to the Connecticut field office."

"Really?"

"Really."

The next day hung like a sword of Damocles over their heads, an ever-present reminder that their dream was about to end.

They stayed in bed for most of the day. Every touch was a reminder of love, an assurance that nothing would change, a promise that they would love each other always.

That they got up and went out dancing. They started in a club, but after a while the music became noise and the dancers crowded them. They needed to get away so they went to a ballroom. They held each other neither wanting to let go. They went to the band and requested their song. They danced in silence. The world shrank until it was just them and the music.

"Give your heart and soul to me." Aaron sang softly.

"And life will always be. La vie en rose." Emily joined.

/

The next day Aaron dropped her off at the airport on his way to work. He didn't drive away. She stopped in front of the entrance. She turned back and looked at him. She didn't want to be here. She wanted to be in the car with him. She sadly turned and walked away.

They would just have to wait and see if Aaron could transfer.

A/N It was kind of fun writing this chapter. I was always afraid of it, ever since I came up with the story. But I like it. Did you like it? Let me know, hit that review button.


	12. Ashes

A/N So this is one of my favorite chapters for this story. I hope you enjoy.

_Trouble in paradise_, a cliché. Is that what her life had become? Something that could be summed up in a cliché?

She had left home only an hour ago, but already she felt exhausted. The situation was approaching its breaking point with Johnny. He wouldn't get off her back about transferring out. She still didn't know what to do. She wasn't going to transfer. End of story. And he was like a dog with a bone. He was not letting up.

JJ tapped her on the shoulder breaking her out of her reverie. "Sorry Em, conference room in five."

Looks like she was going to have to table the impending doom that was her love life.

Walking into the conference room she caught a glance of the other man that had figured prominently into her love life. _Don't go there girl. He's happy. Finally happy._ After everything, she was glad of that.

She could still see his face as he asked the question, "How do you get over the perfect girl?" She could see still his face at the wedding. So much pain. So much sadness. She would never wish that on anybody.

But now he had a fiancee. A wonderful woman. Someone who loved him. Someone who had stuck by him through so much.

The fact that he could find happiness with the job they had gave her hope.

/

On the jet she was in the galley pouring a cup of coffee when Aaron, Hotch, walked in. They nodded to each other, and then she returned to her coffee. After a few moments she looked up. She bit down on her lower lip, _am I really going to ask him this question?_ "How do you do it?"

"How do I do what?"

"This job, the hours. It's brutal on a relationship. But you've been with Haley for, a, a long time. How do you keep it from affecting your relationship?

"I'm lucky."

"That's not helpful."

"I wasn't finished."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Haley is an actress. Depending on her role and where they are in production she can have hours almost as bad as ours."

"Really?"

"There is a lot of sitting around and waiting in a theatre. Actors sometimes have show up hours before they are needed onstage. Sometimes they do two shows a day. Some days they are so emotionally exhausted they don't want to see anyone. It's not a great life for relationships. It's one of the reasons actors date other actors. It's just easier. So, she forgives me for my bad hours, and I forgive her."

"Oh. OK. Thanks. Emily took her coffee cup and walked back to her seat. _That didn't help in the slightest. But it was nice to talk to Aaron again._

/

_This can not be happening. This is so stupid. No. No. No. No no no nononono. There's no way. _

"Emily, it's the only way."

"Fine, you dance with him."

"He's not exactly my type."

"And what, he's mine?" _Ohh, that came out wrong._ She looked over and could see the look of hurt on Aaron's face. He wouldn't or couldn't meet her eyes. Dave shot her a look, but she wasn't paying attention to him. Her eyes were focused on Aaron. She could see he was struggling with this too.

Their UnSub was hunting successful women. And his hunting ground was formal galas, and he chose his victims while they were on the dance floor. All of the victims had been killed within minutes of leaving the dance floor. The UnSub's type was broad, but even so JJ wasn't going to cut it. She wasn't born to money and she stood out. Only Emily was going to be able to be an effective lure. But she needed a man on her arm and Hotch was the logical choice. Only he and Dave would pass muster, and Hotch was more believable than Dave. Plus it would be a disaster if anyone recognized Dave from his books.

But that meant that she and Hotch would have to dance together. Something neither of them was keen to do.

Dave turned to Hotch hoping to enlist his help. But Hotch was staring off into space."Hotch tell her you have got to do this. Hotch. Hotch. Aaron."

Hotch could hear Dave shouting, but for the moment he wasn't paying attention. _I'm not going to do this. I can't do this. I've only danced one time since the wedding. Haley thinks I dislike dancing. I haven't told her the truth. It would only cause a fight. And I still wouldn't take her dancing. Dancing was our thing. Mine and Emily's. ... Dance with her again. Can I do that? … I have to._

"Look princess, you've been the bait for UnSubs before. What's the big deal? This is a swanky deal. I would think it would be right up your alley."

Hotch turned and faced Emily cutting off her reply. "Prentiss we have to do it."

Emily stared at Hotch for a moment before acquiescing. "All right Hotch."

/

Don't know what to do anymore  
I've lost the only love worth fighting for  
And I'll drown in my tears, don't they see?  
And that would show you, that would make you hurt like me

All the same I don't want mudslinging games  
It's just a shame to let you walk away

Is there a chance, a fragment of light  
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?  
Is there a chance you may change your mind  
Or are we ashes and wine?

Walking into the gala was a surreal moment. They had both entertained fantasies about doing this together long ago.

In another life.

And now they were. But it was an illusion. They were with other people.

Emily had taken off her ring. The illusion that they needed to create couldn't have her married. Her finger didn't feel naked though. Somehow, some way it felt slightly right. Like this is what should have always been.

Hotch looked at her. It wasn't Aaron, the man she loved. It was Hotch, her boss. Her boss told her, "We should dance."

Aaron never needed to ask. He knew without asking. He could read her mind, and she could read his.

The start of the dance was awkward. Their movements suggested people who knew what they were doing and had danced together for a long time. But their body language suggested that they were meeting each other for the first time and weren't comfortable with each other. They didn't know where to put their hands.

They couldn't lose themselves in the music. They couldn't be free. Aaron and Emily were no more. Now they were Agent Hotchner and Agent Prentiss. And they had to be professional. They could only touch certain areas.

Neither was enjoying the dance. It brought back too many memories. Some good. Most bad.

"This isn't as fun as it once was." She didn't look at him as she said it, she couldn't.

"No. It isn't. … I have only danced once, since our last dance."

"Me too. … … … I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I didn't mean it. It was ..."

"The heat of the moment. It's all right. I was … lost as well."

"Good. We've been doing better. I didn't want to lose ground."

_This might be the moment to tell her. I don't want to be with her, but, maybe we can finally bury the hatchet. Maybe we can find peace._

He looked down and saw her. She had her eyes closed. He felt her movements slow slightly. She was dancing to the beat of a different song.

A familiar song.

A familiar dance.

He started to hum a tune that he had long ago tried to forget. A tune he had not hear in four years, one month, twelve days, two hours, and twenty-one minutes.

She joined him. Their movements slowed down together. Their dance was slower than everyone else's. But they didn't notice. All they could see was each other. And all they could hear was an imaginary tune being played by an invisible band.

As they danced, forgotten feelings and emotions bubbled to the surface. The pain of slights and sins were forgotten.

They weren't consciously aware, but their hands shifted. Where once they had been locked in zones reserved for strangers, now they were in zones reserved for lovers. The bodies which had once been as far apart as they could be now were as closes as they could be. The only barrier between skin on skin was their clothes.

As they song wound down to the close, they lips moved to meet. They were mere centimeters away from meeting when the claps of others shot them back to reality. Back to the present. Back to their senses. They immediately broke apart.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry."

The awkwardness was back.

Emily broke away and wandered off of the dance floor. She didn't know where she was going, but she was making good time. She didn't notice the man who followed her.

Hotch stumbled in the opposite direction. What was that? What did I almost do? What about Haley? Shit. Do I tell her? No. It would only hurt her. I love Haley. Emily is in the past. She's the past. Haley is the future. I love Haley. I can't tell her. She fears Emily enough.

Luckily for both of our confused and disoriented agents, they were part of a team. A team that had no investment in their past history. At least not at the moment. They were there to do a job. They noticed the man following Emily. And when he pulled the knife out they grabbed him, before he could touch her.

She didn't even notice. She was still lost in a daze when JJ walked up to her and touched her arm. And for a split second she was completely lost, not in the present, and not in the past, she was no where. And then she was back. Agent Prentiss was back. "Did we get him?"

"Yeah Em. We got him."

Emily nodded. "Good. I'm glad it worked." _Hopefully it was worth it. _

_/_

Don't know if our fate's already sealed  
This days are spinning circus on a wheel  
And I'm ill with the thought of your kiss  
Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips

Shut it out, I've got no claim on you now  
Not allowed to wear your freedom down, no

Is there a chance, a fragment of light  
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?  
Is there a chance you may change your mind  
Or are we ashes and wine?

Later that night she sat in hotel room staring into space. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

_Who would be knocking on the door this late? No. It couldn't be him. Could it?_

She approached the door cautiously.

_What am I going to do if it is him?_

She looked through the peep hole, and let out a sigh or relief, or was is it frustration when she saw who was on the other side.

She opened the door, "What are you doing here so late JJ?"

"We need to talk."

"Uh, OK. Come in."

JJ entered the room and walked towards the bed. She didn't sit down. She fidgeted nervously.

"Do you want to sit down?" Emily didn't know what was bothering JJ, but something was definitely bothering her.

JJ couldn't sit down she was too wired.

"Jay, sit you're making me nervous."

JJ took a deep breath, "Is something going on with you and Hotch?"

Emily sucked in a breath through her teeth.

"Em. How could you? How could he? I can't believe you guys would cheat."

"Whoa, whoa. Calm down. We haven't cheated." _Yet._ "Aaron and I... We have a history. A long and complicated history. We met years ago. He was doing security for my mom. We were together for a long time."

"What happened?"

"Life."

"And now?"

"Now I don't know. It's a lot more complicated than that."

"What does that mean?"

"Well."

/

And I'll tear myself away  
If that is what you need, there is nothing left to say but

Is there a chance, a fragment of light  
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?  
Is there a chance you may change your mind  
Or are we ashes and wine?

Reduced to ashes and wine  
Or are we ashes?

Arriving home Emily turned on the lights in the apartment. Johnny wasn't home.

Questions about her and Aaron, and about her and Johnny had plagued her on the plane ride home.

She walked into a back closet and moved items and clothes out of the way in a search for something. After a few minutes she found it a small wooden box. Johnny didn't know it was there. She couldn't get rid of opened it, and smiled at the contents. At the memories.

On top was a crystal rose. _That was a good day. He was always so sweet. _

_But do I really want to go down this road again? After the wedding and that night. Do I really want to do this again? _

She looked down at the box again. So many memories. Ticket stubs from trains littered the box. _We were so in love. What happened? Why did we break up? _

_They were too young. _

_But now with all of their history maybe it's too much. _

_And what about the others in their life?_

_What about Haley? What about Johhny?_

_I'm not going to cheat no matter what I choose. I'm not a cheater._

_What if Aaron didn't feel anything. We haven't talked since the dance. I've been avoiding him. What if this is all in my head? _

_What if he did feel something?_

_Am I going to leave Johnny? If I'm questioning it doesn't that mean something? All we've done for the last couple of months is fight. But all couples fight, right? Maybe this is just a rough patch. Maybe it'll get better._

_Maybe it won't. _

_I love Johnny. _

_But I love Aaron too. I do. As much as I might hate to admit it. I do. The feelings are still there._

She heard the front door open. Johnny was home.

She hid the box once again and walked into the living room. He was in good spirits. 'You're home. I missed you." He strode forward and moved to kiss her.

At the last moment she turned and he kissed her one the cheek. To cover she pulled him into a tight hug.

That was it. She knew if she was ever going to be happy. It was not with the man in front of her. It was going to be with the man who had captured her heart long ago.

_Fuck, I'm screwed._

A/N So now we have one half of the couple back in love all we need now is Aaron. Hit that review button and let me know what you think.


	13. Questions

A/N So here's the next chapter. I know it's a little short, but we will be coming back to this night in another chapter. So enjoy.

JJ and Reid were getting settled into their room when they heard a knock on the door. Reid moved to answer the door.

"Morgan? What's up?"

Morgan entered the room. "Hey, kid," he said to Reid with a wave. "JJ, have you talked to Emily?" He sat down in a chair opposite JJ who sat on the end of the bed. Reid joined JJ and put his arm around her.

"No."

"I'm worried about her."

"Me, too."

"Do you know what's going on?"

"I know a little," she replied, "but I don't know if I should tell you."

"Is it bad?"

"Kinda. More that it will mess with the team chemistry."

"More than it's already been messed up?"

JJ shrugged. "I don't know."

"Tell me what's going on. Because this could get really messed up. And I want to know both sides of the story."

"I only know one side."

"It's one more than I know."

"They used to date." Morgan raised an eyebrow at that. "You're not surprised, are you?" she asked.

"A little," he admitted. "I knew there was something going on with them after that dance, but I thought they were just both attracted to each other. And that's why Hotch didn't invite her to the wedding."

"No. They met when Hotch did security for her mom. They were in Paris, and fell in love. They dated for over a year. Em described it as the happiest year of her life."

"If they were so happy why did they break up?"

"Em was vague about that. She said 'Life got in the way.' But they broke up. Later they met up again. And Hotch messed up. Big time. And she never forgave him. And that's where it gets really complicated, because a couple of years ago they ran into each other days before she got married, and Hotch kind of ruined her wedding."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"So why did she transfer into the BAU? Why would she want Hotch as her boss?"

"The BAU is her dream job. Having Hotch as a boss was the fly in the ointment. They were professional, which we all know. And then came the dance."

"Yeah that was … intense. What did she say about that?"

"Dancing was something that they shared. She said it was a way of communication. They had a song, that's what they were dancing to that night. It was a blast from the past for her."

"For both of them." Spencer noted, looking at JJ.

"Maybe. I don't know."

"Did she talk about the fight?"

"No."

"I heard it was bad."

"Where did you hear that?"

"Around. No knows what was said exactly. But it was pretty heated. And more than a few expletives were heard."

The fell silent as they thought about the ramifications of what had happened and what could happen.

"JJ, do you think she's going to be OK? With Hotch marrying Haley. Is there any way this doesn't become a shit storm?"

JJ didn't have an answer. She couldn't see a way out of this.

"I guess that's answer enough. I'm going to go, get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to be an interesting day. Good night."

"Good night."

JJ and Reid got ready for bed. JJ curled into Reid's body as soon as he lay down. She clung to him, hoping that his presence could soothe her and drive away the doubt.

"You're worried about Emily, aren't you?"

"Aren't you?"

"... Yes. But there's too much we don't know. All we can do is speculate. Morgan's right though, tomorrow is definitely going to be an interesting day.

/

Hotch walked onto the basketball court. He stopped and stared at the hoop, the basketball he carried trapped between his right hip and right arm. He palmed the ball and slowly started dribbling towards the basket.

He dribbled the ball around his back as he crossed the three-point line. Then in one smooth motion pulled back, planted his feet for a split second, and then launched himself into the air.

All thought vanished in the moment his body rose into the air. Instinct and years of practice took over. He pulled his hands up just over his head, leaned them back a little, and then pushed with his right hand, and followed through. The leather bound ball flew through the air in a small arc, swished through the net, bounced on the ground, and came back to him.

He lost himself in the movements, fadeways, jumpers, and the occasional lay-up. He never stopped moving. As long as he was moving he wasn't thinking.

A voice from the darkness broke the spell. "How long has it been since you played?"

He stopped dribbling, but didn't turn to face the voice. "Since I became Chief." He smiled. "I use to play the Academy boys. I'd get out there, and they'd laugh and call me 'old man.' So I challenge them to a friendly game. When Reid first joined the team I brought him out there. We played two-on-two. That was fun."

Dave walked onto the court. "Can't sleep?"

"What do you want, Dave?"

Dave smiled.

A/N For those of you who were wondering why Garcia wasn't with the rest of the team, she was somewhere else. And that will be shown in the other chapter. Also the idea of Hotch being really good at basketball was something I brought from another of my stories, "Hustler, Hustled." Let me know what you think. Hit that little button.


	14. The Inevitable

"I'm sorry, Agent Hotchner. Your request is denied."

That was it. His best chance to be with Emily was gone. He was going to have to stay in Seattle.

_Now what?_

/

It was a long flight to Connecticut. Or at least it felt like a long flight. Not that he remembered any of it.

His mind was elsewhere. Occupied with finding a solution. But no matter how hard he thought, none came – at least none that would be viable.

/

He slowly walked, no trudged, along the path to Emily's dorm. He didn't look at the architecture. He didn't look at the grounds. He was still lost in a bleak future.

He stood before the door to her dorm room. He didn't knock immediately. As bad as it was right now, the future was still in flux. It was not yet real. Once he knocked, she would answer, and he would have to tell her. Then it would be real. He wanted one more moment.

Steeling himself for what was to come, he raised his hand and knocked on the door. A few moments passed. They passed slowly. He heard movement inside the room. The door opened and she was there in all her beauty. The emotions on her face went from curious, to confused, to elated.

She was not expecting him. This was a wonderful surprise.

"Aaron, oh my god, what are you doing here? This is wonderful."

/

She rushes into his arms and kisses him. He doesn't move, he doesn't react to her. He stands there like a silent statue.

She notices his lack of reaction; she pulls back confusion all over face, "Aaron, what's wrong?"

His voice is grave. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah. Of course." She moves out of the way. _What is going on?_

He walks into the room. His posture is stiff, rigid. "Aaron, what's wrong? You're scaring me."

He takes a deep breath, "They denied my transfer. I have to stay in Seattle."

A cold realization sinks into her chest, "Oh. … Is there anything you can do? Can you apply again later?"

"There's nothing I can do. Applying later won't do any good. I'm stuck in Seattle for the foreseeable future."

"Oh. … What now?"

"I don't know. I've been going round and round since they told me. I spent the whole flight trying to come up with the next move."

"What did you come up with?"

"Not much. I could quit."

"I wouldn't want you to do that."

Hotch nods, "You can't leave school. So that means we're stuck on opposite ends of the United States for at least a year."

"Sounds like a great time."

"I know, right? The way I see it we have two options."

"We break up."

Hotch nods sadly.

She continues, "Or we stay together like we have and hope for the best."

"Yeah." He wanders over to the bed and plops down. He puts his head in his hands and sighs.

/

He looked lost and alone, Emily thought. "Aaron." Fear crept into her voice. "What do you want to do?"

"I want … to stay together. To grow old with you, or possibly never grow old with you, although that seems unlikely. I just don't know if it matters what I want."

She slowly approached him and ran her hands through his hair. She leaned her body over his. "Of course it matters what you want." He put his arms around her and pulled her in closer.

Silence filled the room as they held each other. Whatever the future held for them, they would have this moment – this moment when their love was enough. This moment when the future was beatable. And they were invincible.

He broke the silence in a small voice that didn't carry through the cramped room. "I can't lose you. No matter what else, I can't lose you."

"Then you won't. The rest, we'll figure out."

"Tomorrow. Let's face the future tomorrow." He pulled her onto the bed. He didn't want to talk, tonight was about finding a way back to each other.

He couldn't stay; he had to get back the next day.

They had a moment at the airport. It was a moment out of a movie. _The lovers part with a promise to always be true. A final kiss before he boards the plane._

_The lovers part, and hope fills their hearts, but a thread of fear lies underneath._

/

The hope doesn't last long.

A few months later she's standing in front of his house.

He opens the door. He's not happy to see her. He knows what this visit is. "Come in." He turns around and walks over to a bottle. He pours two glasses. He hands one to her. "Wakes should have a never-ending supply of booze."

She chuckles ruefully. She raises her glass. "To a hell of a run."

"To a hell of a run."

She walks over to the record player and goes through the sack of LPs. She finds the one she is looking for and puts it on the turntable. She lets the music play; it washes over her. She closes her eyes and remembers.

She doesn't let herself get lost in the music. She turns and walks over to him. "Dance with me, Aaron. One last time."

They don't sing. This is not a celebration. The air is thick with emotion. They can't look at each other.

The song ends.

He pulls her towards the bedroom.

One last night.


	15. Daydreams and fights

Small things can sometimes cause great destruction.

It was just a piece of paper. One small piece of paper. But the absence of it caused a lot of problems.

When she woke up that day, it wasn't supposed to be a big day.

It was supposed to be an ordinary day. Well as ordinary as it gets for an FBI Agent who hunts serial killers, rapists, and other undesirables by getting inside their minds.

Walking into the bullpen she noticed JJ, Garcia, and Morgan huddled around Reid's desk.

"Hey guys what's going on?"

"Hey, Princess.

We just got our invitations to Hotch and Haley's wedding and we were talking about going down together and taking a couple of vacation days and staying at the beach."

"Invitations?" Fear crept into her heart. She knew Aaron was still engaged. They hadn't said anything to each other since their "encounter" a week previously. He didn't even know that she had asked Johnny for a divorce. But this – not even getting an invite to his wedding.

_I invited him to my wedding._

_Yeah but you didn't look him up. You just stumbled into him one day._

_But I still made it a point to invite him. _

_Does this mean that the dance meant nothing to him? It couldn't have meant nothing. He was just as affected as I was. JJ said so._

The rest of the team shared a look as Emily engaged in her silent conversation with herself. _He didn't send Emily an invitation. That's not good._

JJ shared a sympathetic glace at Emily, "I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it. Your invitation probably got lost in the mail." The words sound hollow in her throat. She knew no one believed her.

Especially Emily.

"Yeah. I'm sure that's what happened." Emily glumly replied. She dejectedly moved to her desk and sat down to go about the business of the day.

The rest of the team moved off to their respective desks. Reid and JJ shared a small look. They kept their romance out of the office. It was one of the rules that was put in place so they could stay together and stay on the team.

Emily tried to focus on her work, but to no avail. Her mind kept drifting. To old memories.

Their first dance. ... Their first night. ... Dancing on the boat. ... Their song. ... Aaron's tattoo.

To sad memories that the passage of time had softened and made happier. That day they returned to the States. ... Lonely nights at Yale. … The day she flew back to Yale from Seattle. … The day Aaron showed up to tell her he wouldn't be transferring.

To new memories.

The first time she saw Aaron after all these years. ... That damn dance that had changed everything. ... Telling Johnny it was over.

To questions. Could he still play her body like a maestro? Did he still remember those secret spots that turned her legs into jelly and come like a freight train? … Did he think about her at night when he was alone? Did he fantasize about her?

To fantasies. _She comes into the office. She shuts the door behind her with her body. He stands up, and manages to get out, "Emily what are you-?" Before she stopped him with a raised his hand. "Aaron, I left Johnny. I want to be with you. I still love you." He quickly moves out from behind her desk and takes her into his arms and kisses her. An epic kiss. A kiss that you read about in Harlequin novels. A kiss that ends movies. They slowly pull back, and she softly asks, "What about Haley?" His forehead touches hers as he responds, "Forget Haley. I've loved you this entire time. I never stopped loving you."_

Other fantasies that ran in a similar vein also fluttered through her mind.

She tried to work, really she did, but all of these other things kept getting in the way. So much so that when JJ and Reid stopped by her desk a little after five to tell her good night, she hadn't managed to accomplish half of the things she was supposed to do.

Five o'clock. Quitting time for many Americans. But not her. And not the subject of her thoughts. He always stayed late. She shot a glance up towards his office. He was still there. _Shouldn't he be heading home taking care of some last minute wedding details? _

_I am not going to go talk to him. I'm not. It would only lead to a fight._

Instead she was going to stop thinking about him and finish the work that sat on her desk.

Her resolve didn't last the night.

Her mind wandered to one last night.

To a night standing beside a fountain.

As the memory washed through her the anger she felt from that night rose to the surface and combined with the anger she felt at this recent slight. As the anger burned hotter and hotter she couldn't take it anymore. She had to release it.

She stood up and determinedly marched to his office. She didn't knock on the door, she just opened it. "Why?"

Aaron looked up confused, "Why what?"

"Why didn't you send me an invitation to your wedding?"

"Oh. That."

"Yeah that."

He took a moment to compose his thoughts. To allow the calmer heads to prevail. He didn't want a fight. "I didn't think you would want to come."

"Bullshit. I invited you to my wedding."

"And a fun time was had by all," he quickly remarked as he stood up.

"Is that what this was about?"

"No. That's not what this is about."

"Why didn't you invite me to your wedding?" Her tone changed. No longer angry – now it was searching, searching for the answer. Now she was profiling. Combining her training with all she knew about the man standing before her. "Does this have something to do with a couple of weeks ago?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't be coy, Aaron. You know what I'm talking about. That dance affected you just as much as it affected me."

"It affected you?"

"Don't change the subject. Is that why I'm not invited? Because the dance brought up old feelings?"

_A hit. A red peg was placed on his battleship._ But he didn't let it stop him. "Why would you want to come and see me marry someone else? Why would you want to see me say 'I do' to Haley?"

"_Haley_. Did she make you do this? Does she not want me there?"

"Don't you dare speak about her like that. She did not make me do anything. This was my choice."

"But she doesn't want me there, right?"

"Would you? Would you really want an ex-boyfriend at your wedding?"

She shot him a look.

"OK, bad example."

"Why is she still with you? After everything."

"She loves me."

"She loves you? After everything you did? She stayed with you because she loved you?"

"Yes. I don't know why. God knows she should've left me a long time ago. But for some reason she loves me and wants to be with me."

"Do you love her?"

"Of course I love her. What kind of question is that?"

"So that dance meant nothing?" She crossed her arms and arched her eyebrow, daring him to tell her it meant nothing.

"It was a memory. Nostalgia. I love Haley. I'm marrying Haley."

…

Silence filled the room, the anger and the pain slowly dissipating and leaking out into the world harmlessly.

…

"Then why did you not invite me?" Her words had a soft tone with a tint of cold anger.

"... Why would I put you through that? Why would you want to go through that?"

"Go through what?"

"Watching someone you love or once loved marrying someone else. To watch as all hope of ever getting back together is extinguished. To watch them declare in front of everyone that they love someone else more than you. Why would you want to go through that?"

"So this is all to protect me? Bullshit. I think that dance affected you a lot more than you're saying. And you don't want me there, because now you're having doubts. Because you are questioning your love for Haley. Because how big of a asshole would you be if you left her for another woman days before she walked down the aisle?"

"What about you? What about your _HUSBAND _Johnny? What about him? He's a part of this sordid story."

Her voice was small. It was out of place amidst the yelling and harsh words. "He's not a part of the story anymore."

"Oh. I see. So now what? You come in here and you tell me that he's out of your life. And I'm supposed to run into your arms and act like nothing happened? Just forget the past, and be with you? Live happily ever after?"

Her eyes blazed at that. "You forget the past? After everything you've done. You've got a lot of nerve saying that."

"Everything I've done. I fought like hell for us. I almost quit the Bureau for you. I risked my career for you. Over and over again I came for you. And you always rejected me."

"Not always." She looked away, the pain etched on her face, her words filled with sadness.

He took a breath. His words were calm. He had tried to explain over and over again. He would try one last time. "I can't change that night. It wasn't my fault. I-."

"I don't want to hear your excuses," she blazed. The truth is you left me high and dry. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"

"As much as you saying 'I do' to someone else?"

That was the final salvo. Both retreated to lick their wounds. Emily left the office quickly packed up her things. He simply slumped behind the desk.

Neither got much sleep that night.

A/N We're coming up on the end. Only a handful of chapters to go. Review let me know what you think.


	16. The fates are cruel

A/N So here it is the chapter you have all waited patiently for. The chapter that deals with the "night" that is constantly referred to. I own nothing.

He never forgot her. He hadn't seen her in a couple of years. He hadn't seen her face. Hadn't heard her voice. Hadn't smelt her perfume. Hadn't danced.

But he never forgot a single moment of the time they shared.

It was indelibly etched into his brain like a stone carving.

She was his greatest regret. Not that he had been with her. But that he wasn't still with her. That he hadn't tried harder to overcome the obstacles life had thrown in their way.

He doesn't know what else he could have done. He loved the FBI. He wouldn't have been as happy doing anything else. But was he really happy now?

Was his life so much better without her? He doubted it. Maybe he should have resigned. Thrown the dice with her, and not with his career.

No career was worth it. Not if you never loved again.

She came back into his life on a Tuesday. On a Wednesday he had to face those choices again.

Tuesday night he went to the symphony. They were playing movie standards. "La vie en Rose" was one of the songs to be played.

He hadn't heard it since the night they broke up.

He wasn't expecting to see anyone he knew.

Definitely not her.

But there she was. Walking towards him up the aisle.

The concert was over, and people were exiting. He had stood up to join the throng of people making their way to the exits when he noticed her.

He didn't know what to say. So many things ran through his mind. All that came out was, "Hi." He felt like an idiot.

She gave a small smile and responded, "Hi."

"It's good to see you."

"You too."

"It's been a long time. How are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

He smiled, "I'm good. Now all we need to do is talk about the weather."

She chuckled softly, "It shouldn't be this awkward. There are no hard feelings. Right?"

"No. No hard feelings. … … … Regrets."

She sucked in a breath. Does that mean what I think it means? "Regrets?"

"It shouldn't have ended like that. … It shouldn't have ended at all."

"We were hurting ourselves staying together with the distance between us. We couldn't have stayed together."

"I should have done something. Quit maybe."

"And do what? The FBI is your life. It's who you want to be. I couldn't ask you to give that up."

"It's a job. A job I love. And a very rewarding job. But ultimately a job. There are some things in this life that are more important than a job."

"What are you saying?"

"I made a mistake three years ago. A mistake I would like to fix. That is, if you want to?"

She beamed a smile at him before running into his arms. She pulled his face down and kissed him. It was just like she remembered. It was home.

He pulled back, "Where are you staying?"

"I have an apartment. You?"

"Motel. I'm here on a case."

"Do you have to go?"

"Not tonight."

"Good you want to come over to my place and get a drink?"

"I could use a drink."

/

Getting up to put on his clothes he was struck with a case of deja vu. He'd done this so many times it was almost second nature.

"Leaving again. Just like old times huh?"

He smiled, "I have to finish up a case today, and then I'm all yours."

"All mine."

"For as long as you'll have me."

"I like the sound of that."

"There's a fountain near the heart of the city, do you know it?" She nodded. "Meet me there at 7:00."

"Be careful today. I just got you back – I don't want to lose you."

He looked at her for a moment before reaching into his pants and pulling out a silver coin and handed it to her.

It was a 100 franc coin. She noticed the date. It was the year they met.

"I carry that with me for luck. I had it the day I met you. You hold onto it."

"Don't you need it?"

"I just got you back. I got all the luck in the world. I noticed your gun. Looks like you made it into the Bureau. The coin will keep you safe." He kissed her and headed towards the door, "Remember 7:00. The fountain. I'll be there. I love you."

/

She floated int the Bureau office. She had never been this happy. Not even when they were first together. The fates had brought him back to her. And now they were going to be together forever. She wasn't quite sure how that would work, but she knew it was going to happen. It had to happen.

She was on autopilot walking towards her desk. She was staring at the silver coin in her hand and not where she was going. Running into a solid mass of flesh and stumbling backwards brought her back down to reality. "I'm so sorry. I didn't-. Sir."

Her boss didn't look too bothered by the fact that she had just ran into him. "Emily I was just coming to find you. The Chicago field office is in need of an agent who speaks French and Arabic, and they've requested that you transfer."

"Chicago? When would I have to go?"

"As soon as possible."

"I see. Can I give you my answer tomorrow? There's someone I need to talk to first."

"Very well."

_Chicago. Would Aaron mind living there? He's going to have to move anyway. Why not Chicago?_

/

Emily couldn't keep her mind on her work. Instead her mind kept drifting to thoughts of her new life with Aaron. Eventually she just gave up and headed home. But even that wasn't enough to distract her. All she wanted was for time to stop moving so slowly. She had been home forever and it seemed like the time had not moved forward at all.

_Maybe the clock's broken. No. The second hand is still moving. OK Emily you have an hour before you need to start getting ready. Find something to do._

But nothing worked. Nothing could distract her from the evenings activities.

_Fine I'm going to get ready now and I'll just be early._

/

She got in the car and headed towards the fountain. She was in such a good mood she didn't notice the dark clouds on the horizon.

Arriving at the fountain she checked the time. _OK, a lot early._ She got out of the car and walked towards the fountain. It was a beautiful place. All around the marble fountain were trees and flowers. A bit of nature in a city filled with steel and concrete. She sat down on the fountain and anxiously waited.

10 minutes. 6:35

_I wonder if he'll be early._

20 minutes.

_He'll be here any second._

30 minutes.

_Any second now._

40 minutes.

_He's late. That's not like Aaron. He's always on time, more often than not he's early._

50 minutes.

_This is not good. Is he not coming? No. Of course he's coming._

1 hour.

_He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's just a little delayed. He'll be her. He's coming._

1 hour 10 minutes.

_He said he loved me. He said he wanted to be with me. He said breaking up was the biggest mistake of his life. What if he didn't mean it?_

Something cold and wet connected with her cheek. She stretched out her hand, a few rain drops fell. More and started falling. Faster and faster until it was pouring. She didn't have a coat. It wasn't supposed to rain tonight. It was supposed to be a warm night.

_He'll be here soon._ She huddled her body and continued waiting.

1 hour 30 minutes

_He's not coming. Face it girl. You just got booty called. He only said what he said to get one last night with you._

1 hour 45 minutes

_Why isn't he here? Why would he say those things? Why did he lie to me?_

2 hours

_He's not coming._

She didn't notice the tears streaking down her face they merged with the raindrops.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the silver coin. "I guess you weren't very lucky. Good-bye Aaron Hotchner." She tossed the coin into the fountain.

She forlornly stood up and made her way to her car. She was soaked. She didn't even mind the rain anymore. It ceased to exist. She was so wet she couldn't get any wetter.

_I can't believe he didn't come._

/

She knocked on her boss's office door the next morning.

"Emily, are you OK?"

"I'm fine. I'll take the Chicago job. Tell them I'm be there on Monday." She turned and walked away.

/

She grabbed the large box out of the moving van and slowly made her way towards the door. A man noticed her struggling. "You need any help with that?"

"If you could get the door that would be great."

"Absolutely. My name is Jonathan Lawrence, but everyone calls me Johnny."

"Hi Johnny. I'm Emily."

"You just move here?"

"Yeah."

"Where you from?"

"Here, there, and everywhere. I don't mean to be rude, but this box is kind of heavy."

"Right sorry. I'll see you around, Emily."

"Maybe."

_What are you doing you doing? You just moved to Chicago because the love of your life broke your heart into a million pieces. And now you're looking at the first guy you meet. What is wrong with you?_

_I was just talking with him. It's not like I'm going to marry him or anything. Besides he was cute. Just because a guy hurt me doesn't mean I need to be mean to every guy I see. Nothing's going to happen. I'm here to start a new life. To forget Aaron. And if I do a good enough job here to get recruited into the BAU. I'm not going to let any guy get in the way of that._

A/N Damn that's messed up. But remember Hotch has been trying to explain something about this night. What could that be? You will find out tomorrow. Review let me know what you think.


	17. The fates mock with the truth

Things around the office were ... tense following the argument between Hotch and Emily.

Neither side spoke to each other unless circumstances demanded it. And even then they spoke to each other in clipped, professional tones.

Those that knew their secrets helped keep the peace, providing a buffer. JJ (and by extension, Reid) for Emily; and Rossi for Hotch.

Morgan and Garcia, knowing little, stayed neutral in the hopes that peace and goodwill would win out.

It didn't. The office settled into a cold war, neither side forgiving or forgetting – but neither side struck any new blows.

Something was going to have to give. The team couldn't operate like this indefinitely.

It didn't fall to Rossi to fix it. More he took it upon himself. It didn't hurt that he was the only one who knew the whole story.

He wasn't sure if he had waited too long, though, because tonight, the team got on a plane, and tomorrow, Hotch got married.

He picked up the phone and dialed Emily's extensions. "Emily could you come in here, please?"

A few moments later she opened the door., "What's up Dave?"

"Sit down. It's time you and I had a chat."

"A chat?" _Please don't let this be about Aaron. Please don't let this be about Aaron. Please don't let this be about Aaron._

"You haven't seen Aaron naked since the night of that concert, right?"

"What?" That was definitely not a question she expected Dave to ask.

"I didn't think so. It's too bad, really. If you had we wouldn't be in the position we're in now."

"What are you talking about, Dave?"

"Let me tell you a story. It starts the morning Hotch left you, saying that the two of you would be together forever. That's the last time you saw him before running into him and inviting him to you wedding."

"I already know this story. I know how it ends."

"Maybe. But there are a couple of details that change the tenor of the story a bit."

"I don't have time for this."

"You don't have time for this. What pressing thing do you have tonight? I have a plane to catch in a couple of hours, on the other hand, and I am spending my time trying to fix the issue. So let me tell my story, and if you still want to leave, well I won't stand in your way."

"Do you know what he did? I stayed at that fountain for two hours. IN THE POURING RAIN."

Rossi raised a hand and nodded, attempting to silence her, to let her know that he knew and all would soon be revealed. "Like I said the story begins that morning Aaron left yon. He was there on a case. He immediately went to his superiors ...

/

"Agent Hotchner, please have a seat. What can I do for you?"

Hotch sat down, "Sir, I would like to revisit the discussion we had a few years ago regarding my transfer."

"To Connecticut, right?"

"Yes sir. Although now I wish to transfer here."

"Here?"

"Yes, sir."

"For what reason do you wish to transfer here?"

"Personal reasons, sir."

"I see. Request denied, Agent."

"Very well sir. Then I regret to inform you that following this case I will resign my position in the FBI."

"Excuse me, Agent Hotchner. Did I hear you correctly, you are going to resign your position?"

"Yes, sir."

"For what reason?"

"It's personal, sir."

"I see. … I tell you what I am going to do Agent. I'm going to forget this conversation ever happened. If, in a few days you still feel this way We will have another conversation."

"Very well, sir."

"How is the interrogation of the suspect going?"

"It's going well. I believe he is going to crack soon. There's something that's bothering me, though."

"What's that?"

"I don't think this guy is capable of doing the things he's been arrested for."

"You think he's innocent?" he couldn't keep the incredulity of his voice. "All of the evidence points to this man's guilt."

"Yes, sir. I don't think he's innocent. He just doesn't seem smart enough to pull this off."

"What do you suggest we do?"

"I don't know sir. There's nothing to suggest we have the wrong guy. Everything suggests he is the guy. I just have this odd feeling ..."

"For now, keep after the man in custody. If you get any new information that leads to someone else, then pursue it."

"Yes, sir."

"Is there anything else?"

"No, sir."

"Very well."

Hotch turned and walked off. _This is just like last time. There are not going to let me be with her and stay with the Bureau. Well looks like I'm about to join the ranks of the unemployed. ... As soon as I close this case._

/

This was not how he wanted to spend his day. The day was supposed to be a request for transfer, hopefully getting. Although he knew that wasn't likely. Then the interrogation, hopefully the guy cracked before lunch. Then the rest of the day could be spent taking care of whatever outstanding business he had. And then, on to the most important matter of the day – indeed, possibly the most important matter in his life. Except for proposing, which he was not ready to do now. But he would definitely have to start thinking about it. Buy a ring. Planning. It would have to be good. And definitely not cliched. Which meant no putting the ring in her champagne glass, no having it on the Jumbotron. No, none of that.

But that was not what he was doing. No he was on his way to check out a lead. There was a chance that his suspect was merely a pawn in someone else's game. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He was going to be late. There was nothing he could do about it. The only good thing is if they caught this guy he could dash over to see Emily and let her know what was going on. It might not be acceptable for agents to do that, but what were they going to do? Fire him?

If only he had Emily's cell phone number, but in his haste to get to work he had forgotten to get it. And last night there had been more important things on his mind.

His car pulled up to a house. They had arrived. Hotch and his partner got out of the car. They walked up the house and knocked on the door.

There was no answer at first. But after a few moments they could hear the sound of running.

Hotch pulled his gun and kicked in the door. He and his partner quickly advanced into the house. Guns out, they advanced from room to room.

They cleared the house. There was no sign that anyone was there.

"Where did he go?"

Hotch didn't have an answer. They walked back down one of the hallways. Hotch noticed something on the wall and pointed it out,. "Do you see that? That section of the wall isn't as faded as the rest of the wall. It's newer."

He approached the wall and ran his fingers over the section. Playing a hunch he lightly knocked on the wall. It sounded hollow. "It's hollow. Must be some kind of escape hatch. There's probably a switch or lever somewhere. To bad this isn't the library, all we would need to do is find the right book."

"It can't always be that easy."

Hotch smiled.

After a few moments they discovered the lever The section of the wall swung away revealing a set of stairs leading heading down. The partner took point; Hotch got his six.

They moved slowly, unsure of what lay ahead of them.

They came to a L in the hallway. They moved close to the wall. The partner poked his head around the corner and a fist connected with his head. He stumbled back and to the side. Hotch raised his gun as a body moved out from behind the bend.

Both had guns raised.

Both fired.

A burst of white heat stabbed through Hotch's chest. He slowly fell backwards. It really hurt. The movies don't really show how much it hurts.

Still, if this was going to be the end, at least he took out the other guy.

His last before the darkness overtook was, _Emily. I need to meet Emily. She needs to know what happened. She's waiting for me. _

/

Emily felt sick. All these years. All that anger. Over and over he hd tried to tell her. Tried to explain. But she would never listen. The pain was too great. And now to know this. To know that it was not his fault. To know that while she was waiting for him, he was lying on a hospital operating table while doctors tried to save his life.

Rossi waited a moment to let her process the information before speaking, "The injury was bad. He lapsed into a coma for a couple of days. By the time he recovered you were gone. He looked for you. It took him a while, but he found you."

"I remember he tried calling a couple of times. I just hung up on him. And then I stopped answering. He sent a couple of letters. I threw them in the trash."

"He still has it, you know."

"Has what? My tattoo? He didn't get it removed?"

"No, he didn't get it removed. But that's not what I was talking about. He still has the coin you threw into the fountain. He carries it with him every where he goes. It's ironic he gave you that coin for luck, and then he gets shot."

"That's not ironic, that's tragic. All this time I thought he stood me up. I was probably already in Chicago by the time he woke from the coma. If I had known ... ... ... That's what he was talking about."

"What who was talking about?"

"Hotch and I spoke at the wedding before... Everything happened. We were dancing. We were both remembering better things. And that's when he said he still had it. I assumed he was talking about the tattoo. And then he brought up that night. He was talking about the coin."

"What are you going to do?"

"What am I going to do? What can I do? He's about to get married. To another woman. A woman he loves."

"You and I both know he loves you as well. That's what your fight was really about, wasn't it. You left your husband. And it hurt when all of your dreams came crashing down around you when everyone got invitations to the wedding."

"I knew he was with Haley." Emily responded. The words sounded pathetic even to her.

"But you hoped. You hoped that he was just as affected by that dance as you were. That all of the old feelings arose. But he burned you. He burned you bad. So you were hoping that if you gave him some clue, some indication that you were once again free. Once again his. That he would forget everything and come back to you."

Emily didn't say aything she just looked away.

"And it hurt when he didn't. So you picked a fight."

"I didn't pick a fight. We were both to blame for the fight. ... ... ... He tried to tell me again. About that night. God, if only I'd listened."

"You can't change the past. But maybe, you can change the future. Tell him."

Emily looked at her watch, "I can't do that. He's made his choice."

"Choices can always be changed."

"I can't do this, Dave. I have to go." She quickly stood and exited the office before he could stop her. She rushed to her desk, grabbed her things, and headed for her car.

Driving home, her mind had only one thought. Where did it all go wrong? None of this would have happened if she had stayed for even one day. Stayed to find out why he hadn't shown up. She would have found him in the hospital and would have immediately forgiven him. How could you fault a guy who got shot? She would have stayed by his side. And then when he was better if the Bureau wouldn't let them be together one of them would have quit, like he talked about. They could have been so happy.

A lifetime of happiness.

Instead of this. This horrible mess.

And now it looked like she would be forever unhappy.

A/N So for a storytelling perspective this is not the best place for this chapter, in fact it should be two chapters later. But I hate Hotch messed up stories and that is what the last chapter appears to be so I put it here. I mention this because "A" I am not sure when the next chapter will be up and I didn't want to leave you hanging with Hotch's reason, and "B" because there will be a flow to the last couple of chapters a flow that should start at the very end of this chapter. But c'est la vie. Let me know what you think. Review.


	18. The fates shatter

A/N I don't know if anyone is going to read this, I have posted in quite a while, sorry, but hey I'm still alove which I'll be honest I wasn't sure I would be at this point. So, because it's been so long likely you have forgotten many details and since this story is all about the details, here is a recap.

Aaron and Emily dated in france many years ago. Aaron was new to the Bureau and Emily had just finished 4 years of college. They dated for a year and a half. They have a song "La vie en Rose" which is very important to them. So important that Aaron has two lines with the notes tattooed on his chest. They returned to America and opposite coasts, Emily to the East coast and Yale, Aaron to Seattle. They tried to stay together, but ultimately broke up. Some time later they met up again had a wonderous night, and Aaron told Emily to meet him the next day. He was going to quit the Bureau for her. Also Emily had joined the Bureau. Aaron gave Emily a lucky coin that he carried with him. Aaron didn't make the appointment as he was shot. Emily waited but ultimatley left heartbroken. The next day she transferred to Chicago where she met her future husband. Aaron and Emily met again some time later and Emily invited him to the wedding. It was a disaster. Some time later Emily transferred to the BAU, her dreamjob, and discovered Aaron was her boss. Aaron was dating Haley, and Aaron soon proposed to Haley. Some time after working together Aaron and Emily danced rekindling old feelings this ultimately lead to Emily, who was having marital difficulties, to divorce her husband. However Aaron continued with the wedding plans. He chose not to invite Emily to the wedding, this lead to a big fight. Dave informed Emily of the real reason Aaron did not make their planned date all those years ago, something Aaron had been trying to explain for years. Emily realized her mistake, but concluded that it was too late for them as Aaron would marry Emily the next day. There is more going on but many of the details will be explained further in later chapters. For now read on and enjoy.

He wandered the streets in a daze.

_How do you get over the perfect girl?_

The last words he had spoken to her, mere moments ago echoed through his head.

The perfect girl. He had a girl. A girl who was smart, funny, amazing, beautiful. A girl any man would dream of. He loved this girl. Why was he thinking about the past?

Another girl.

…

The girl that got away.

He hadn't expected to see her. He hadn't expected the rush of emotions.

The rush of memories.

What might have been.

He wasn't prepared.

What was he going to do now?

/

He dreamed about her that night.

All the words he should have said.

All the things he should have done.

He had to tell her. Even if she hated him. Even if she never spoke to him again. He had to tell her. She had to know.

But that was it. He was just going to tell her. He had a girl. Someone he loved. He wasn't going to mess it up.

/

_Crap what am I going to now?_

The dance it affected him more than he expected.

As much as he he hated to admit it. He was still in love with her. Still in love with his dream girl.

Still in love with Emily Prentiss.

He wasn't a romantic anymore. Not like he had been. Not like when he fell for her all those years ago.

A lifetime ago.

He was more jaded now. Too jaded to say something as corny as The One. The Only One.

But as much as he loved the woman he was with, as much as he cared for her, and didn't want to hurt her. Staying with her when he loved someone else. When there was still a chance. That would be cruel.

And there was a chance. A miniscule chance, but a chance nonetheless.

And maybe this time the fates would look out for them. Maybe this time they would give them what they had denied them. What they had taken away.

But first he had to tell his girl. He didn't want her to see. Even if she had been a bad girlfriend. Which she hadn't. She was an awesome girlfriend. But even if she had been a bad girlfriend, she didn't deserve to see this. No one deserved to see this.

/

He walked slowly to his seat, a sense of dread coming over him for what he must do. She didn't deserve this. She had done nothing wrong. She had been great. This was cruel. Good guys didn't do this. This was a shitty thing to do. But he had to do it. To not do it would be worse. He would be lying to her. He loved someone else more. To stay with her when he was in love with someone else, especially without her knowing, that would be monstrous.

She saw him walking towards her and shot him a beautiful smile, his heart broke. _Poor girl she has no idea what's about to happen to her. There's no way she could see this coming._

He led her away from the chapel, the least he could do was give her some privacy for her upcoming heartbreak.

"Aaron what's wrong?"

He didn't say anything. He was staring at the ground hoping and praying it would give him the right words to say. But there are no right words.

"You've been a great girlfriend. I love you so much. … You don't deserve this. This wasn't what I intended for today. This wasn't what I was expecting. Or hoping for. It just ... happened."

"I can't believe you. You told me this was not about this. That you were going to let go of the past. That you were going to give her the coin, and then you could move on.

"And that's what I thought I would do. That's what I wanted to happen. You think I want this. This, is the world's worst case of bad timing. I LOVE YOU. Do you hear me? I LOVE YOU. The thought of hurting you, it's tearing me up inside. You helped put me back together. You were helping me forget HER. I was healing. I fell in love. I was ready to move on. To put the past in the past. And right before I can fate drops her into my lap, and to top it off she's marrying someone else."

"She's marrying someone else, can you hear yourself, she doesn't love you. She loves someone else. Why would you chase after her? I love you. I want to be with you. I'm standing here. In front of you. Where is she?"

"I know. But at the end of the day I love her. I will always love her. I have to try. There is so much unhappiness in this world. When something comes along that makes you happy, you have to go for it with everything in you, damn the consequences or what people say.

He slowly walked past her, she didn't move to stop him. He turned and looked back. "I wish it could have been different. I could have been happy with you. But I could never be happy with myself if I didn't try. I hope you find someone. Someone worthy of you. I never was."

/

So now here it was the moment of truth. The moment he went all in.

He didn't think about the fact that he was now a cliché. That this scene had been done countless times, in so many bad romantic comedies. The only difference was he didn't wait until the minister said, "Is there anyone who has just cause why these two should not be lawfully wed."

He opened the double doors that she had walked through only moments ago. The double doors that had signified the beginning of a new life, with accompanying music. And everyone staring at her.

For him there was no music, but everyone stared at him.

Weddings are about tradition. Everyone knows what is going to happen from one minute to the next. There are no surprises.

This was a surprise. This was a big change in the normal order of events. No one expected this.

He momentarily lost his nerve when all eyes fixated on him. He swallowed nervously. A tiny tendril of doubt crept in. _This is stupid. This is ridiculous. Who does this? _

Then he caught her eye.

The girl. The girl of his dreams.

What some might call The One.

His courage came back. He was doing this for her. For them. To be happy. He would do anything for her.

The room had gone quiet. Deathly quiet. The odd gasp, or whisper from one guest to another echoed throughout the church. Most didn't know who he was. They all wondered.

He cleared his throat, and looked at her. He didn't shout. He didn't yell. His voice was soft and calm. But everyone heard him clear as day. It echoed through the silent hall.

"Don't do this. It's not too late. I still love you. What happened before-"

She interrupted him. She couldn't believe his audacity. How dare he interrupt her wedding? How dare he humiliate her like this in front of everyone she had even known. In front of all her guests. To show up like this. Who did he think he was? Her voice screeched in anger and rage, "What are you doing?"

He almost blanched, but he couldn't. He was all in. This was the moment.

"Trying to stop you from making a mistake."

"A mistake? Who the fuck do you think you are? You show up on my wedding day, as I am about to take my vows, telling me I'm making a mistake. You don't know me anymore _Aaron_. What gives you the right?"

"I love you."

"You love me?" This took the cake, how could he do this? This wasn't romantic, this was cruel. "So what that's supposed to be enough? What do you think this is the movies? You think you can just show up on MY WEDDING day. Tell me you love me, and what I'm supposed to leave my fiancee. AT THE ALTER. And just run away with you. Forget everything you did" She choked back a sob. Hadn't he put her through enough already? "… Everything you put me through. … … Just go Aaron, walk away. I never want to see you again."

"I never meant to hurt you. It's a misunderstanding, a-"

"I waited in the rain for hours. What did I misunderstand about that? You slept with me, didn't ask for my number, promised you would be somewhere, and then disappeared. I didn't misunderstand anything. You. You are the one who doesn't understand. Do you see where we are? What I am wearing? This is my wedding. My wedding to someone else. Another man. Someone who is not you. Your apologies your … _love_ … It's worthless."

She turns to the minister and calmly and coolly says, "Please continue." As if nothing out of the ordinary happened. As if the last few minutes hadn't happened.

He stands in the aisle. He can't move. Everything inside of him wants to move, to run screaming into the darkness. But he doesn't move. He's frozen. He can feel the eyes of all of the guests on him, wondering why he ruined the wedding, why he is still in the building, why he is standing in the aisle? He ignores them, he is focused on one thing and one thing only.

On Her.

The minister asks her if she takes the man in beside her, in sickness and all that, and

he holds his breath. This is it if ever the fates are going to smile on him. If ever they are going to give him a second chance, this is the moment.

"I do."

And with those words his world is plunged into darkness. He has lost so much in pursuit of this woman, and was willing to give up so much more. All for her, to be hers. And she now belongs to someone else. She has taken someone else's name. He can no longer touch her, no longer hold her, no longer kiss her, no longer whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Those privileges belong to another man.

The dream he once had with her is over. Now he has awakened to the harsh light of reality.

She had said "I do" to someone else. He had risked everything. Given up everything. For her. To be hers. So that she would see, this was real. He meant it. What happened before ... it ... it wasn't his fault. It's not what he wanted. He wanted to be with her. For always. It wasn't like he wanted to miss their date. He was shot for fuck's sake. He was lying on a hospital bed bleeding, while she sat in the rain. So really who's day was worse?

But it didn't matter once again she wouldn't let him explain, she still hated him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver coin.

After he had gotten out of the hospital, the first place he went was to the fountain. He had a crazy hope, an insane belief, that she would have come back. That she would be there. That they would be reunited. That it would be OK. It would all work out.

But of course she wasn't there. He wouldn't find out until later, but she wasn't even in the same city.

He stood there for a moment lost in ocean of possibilities. Of what-ifs, and what could-have-beens. Did she still love him? Would she hear him out? Would she forgive him?

His lucky coin. She would have carried it with her. It would have been the only tangible reminder of him that she would have had.

Did she throw it away? An unpleasant reminder of him and the ordeal he had put her through. Did throwing the coin in the trash give her a momentary respite from the pain. A fleeting jolt of pleasure.

Did she keep it? A memento of the love she once had. A hope that he would find her and explain it had all been a mistake, and of course that he still loved her. A sign that she would forgive him and they would live happily ever after.

Did she throw it in the fountain? A wish that he would appear? A wish that he would drop dead? A wish that it had gone differently that he had shown up? A wish that they would be happy?

There was no point in looking through the trash, it had been days. If it had been thrown away it was long gone by now. But, maybe, just maybe it was in the fountain.

He limped over to the fountain. The physical exertion already tiring his damaged body. But he had to finish this. He had to know. Slowly, too slowly, he lowered his body into a sitting position on the fountain. He leaned backwards over the fountain. Pain radiated from his shoulder, spiking throughout his body, with a grunt he quickly sat upright. That wasn't going to work.

He kicked off his shoes, he had a limited supply of strength left, he had to conserve, prioritize. He swung his legs over the fountain and dropped them into the cold water. He ignored his leg's protestations over being plunged into the cold water, that fact that it was painful was trivial. All that mattered was the coin. He bent forward and again pain flared and again he was forced to sit up.

This wasn't working. He had to do something. He had to know. And the only way to know was too look for that coin.

Ignoring the effect on his clothes. Ignoring the effect on his dignity. Ignoring the effect of his body he got off the fountain and plunged into the water. Now on his hands and knees he started to go through the coins one by one looking for one in particular.

Quarter, quarter, dime, nickel, quarter, quarter, half dollar coin after coin was inspected and rejected. He didn't know how long he looked, how long he ignored the pain in his body,how long he pushed himself past exhaustion. The training he had taken with SWAT was never more appreciated. Finally long after his body had adjusted to the cold water; success, if you can call it success, he had found the coin.

He climbed out of the fountain. He didn't notice the fact that his soaked clothes clung to his body, that his shirt was now see through, that people were staring at the strange wet man who had been "playing" in the fountain. All he saw was a silver franc.

The only coin he had had in his pocket the day he met her. A coin which had been newly minted that year. Something he had never allowed himself to spend. Something he had carried with him everyday since that day. Something he had thought he would never part with. Something he had freely given. And now it was his once again. Although this time through a stroke of bad luck. Maybe all the good luck had run out, and now instead it brought bad luck to the one who carried it.

Standing just outside the double doors, he had walked through the those doors with many beautiful hopes and dreams. A happy life. He walked back through them his hopes and dreams in tatters and rags, ripped apart as he presented them to the woman he loved. Standing there looking at the coin he had carried for all of these years. It definitely had run out of good luck. But he couldn't bear to get rid of it. No. He would carry it for the rest of his life. As penance for what he had done, for the lives he had destroyed, the people he had hurt.

A constant reminder of the happiness he had once had.

And how he had failed to keep it.

And how it had cost him everything, his dream girl the woman he loved most of all .And the woman he had been with for over a year a woman he loved, his two chances at happiness gone.

Forever.

A/N So I know that parts of the story feel like they are missing pieces, they are they will be filled in the coming chapters. Also don't hate Aaron he is caught between a rock and a hard place and no answer is the right one. Please if anyone is reading this review. Please


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